Leave me alone already

I rushed home and showered. I must have tried on 20 different outfits – one too sexy for a night in, another not sexy enough. I finally settled on my favorite pair of jeans and a low cut black tee. I had gained a little weight and it seemed like most of it had gone to my boobs. I knew they were looking good so I figured I might as well show them off.

I tried to convince myself that tonight was just going to be a casual movie night with my friend, but the butterflies in my stomach told me otherwise. I felt like I was about to go on a first date. I shook the feeling off and continued to get ready.

It was after 7 by the time I finished getting ready and still no Ben. I checked my watch again and shifted around on the couch. I was afraid that he had changed his mind. Maybe Gina and him had got back together. Or maybe he got in an accident on the way over. Or couldn’t find a movie.

But in the back of my head I was thinking that maybe he realized I wasn’t worth it. That I wasn’t good enough for him. The same way every other guy in my life, including my father, had decided that I wasn’t worth the time, wasn’t good enough for him. The knock on my door shook me out of my worrying. I hopped up and practically skipped to the door.

“I’m so glad you made it,” I said a little too eagerly as I swung the door open. The butterflies fluttered even harder when I saw who stood in front of me.

Secret Admirer

I managed to avoid him most of the day. But right before time to go I received a huge delivery of flowers. I panicked thinking that Ben had sent them and didn’t know what I would say or do. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to figure it out.
We can be happy again. I still love you. Dinner tonight? Brad.

Just then Ben came popping into my cubicle at the worst possible time. I threw down the card and tried to push some papers over it and block the flowers. He pushed past me and grabbed the card and read it.

“Please tell me you’re not going to have dinner with that jerk.”

“I don’t know.” It was true. I hadn’t decided it yet. While my head told me I should say no my heart was screaming yes. After all, this was the man I was about to marry just a few weeks ago and despite everything that happened, the idea of being with somebody sounded a lot better than being alone. Even if I did know he wasn’t Mr. Right. Plus he was comfortable. I wouldn’t be starting over.

“You’re not going, Addy. I’m putting my foot down.”

Where did he get off telling me he was putting his foot down? He didn’t even have a say in what I did. He couldn’t put his foot down. I felt like telling him as much but I could see the determination in his face.

“Okay, I won’t go,” I said quietly.

“Damn right. And you’re spending the night with me so I can keep an eye on you.”

“That’s really not necessary…” I started.

“Oh no, it’s definitely necessary. I’ll be at your house at 7 with wine and movies.