Perez, you go girl - I mean boy!

I know you've been there. I don't know many people who haven't aside from my parents. Perez Hilton is where the best celebrity trashing/gossip is at. It's not number one in my book in delivering celebrity gossip first (TMZ takes that honor) but I love it just the same because it's a little different.

Mr. Perez has labeled himself the Queen of all Media and the title fits. He has hit the scene big time with millions of hits each day (I don't know this for a fact - just a guess). Perez isn't just on the Web anymore. He's popping up at the Canadian music awards, in Glamour magazine and coming tomorrow The View.

With the much talked about departure of Rosie O'Donnell, The View is looking to replace her. Kathy Griffin and Ivanka Trump (she refused) are some of the names being thrown around as possible replacements but I have a sneaking suspicion we all might be a little surprised.

Perez Hilton is co-hosting The View tomorrow and also says he has a "big announcement" tomorrow. My guess? He's going to be the next co-host of The View.

How do you go from your blog to co-hosting a talk show like The View. You get people to listen. And Perez has done that. I think he would be a great fit for The View. He would certainly bring in the younger generation. Walk onto any college campus or stop someone under 30 and ask them if they know who Perez Hilton is and I bet they say yes.

Who wants to make a bet with me on Perez taking the open co-host gig? I'll pony up some big money!

Prison Fashionistas

After my lengthy post on the unfairness of Paris Hilton's jail sentence, I thought it was only right to weigh in on the whole Nicole Richie issue. After all, once upon a time they were BFFs. I thought Paris's sentence was cruel and unfair - most similar offenders wouldn't serve any time or if they did serve time, it would be very minimal. Nothing like the 26 days she had to serve. I'm not bitter about it anymore though. I think she came out a better person (repeat: think). She's still Paris Hilton and swarmed by papparazzi every day and a daily news headline but I think she learned her lesson and wants something good to come out of her time in jail.

Nicole Richie I'm not sure i can say the same for. Nicole Richie is a troublemaker. Watch an episode of The Simple Life and you will see that. That girl is waivering on the crazy side. She's always disrespecting people and doing cruel jokes that she thinks is hilarious. She's spiteful. And this isn't the first time she's been in trouble. She's been in rehab for drugs. She's been pulled over for a DWI before this DUI. She was driving down the wrong side of the road. She deserves to be punished. And if she doesn't get more time than Paris then there's something wrong with this world.

Nicole deserves at least twice the time if not more because she's got TWO DUIs. She should be in there a minimum of 52 days. That would serve her right.

I haven't decided if there's any truth to this pregnancy rumor. Judging by the way she's been hiding that belly, I think there just might be. And she truly believes it will get her out of jail time. And it might but it sure isn't fair if it does. That sends the message to other female criminals - get knocked up and you won't have to do the time. Just what we need another unwanted, unloved baby in this world.

I hope Nicole Richie has to serve her time. I have a feeling that she won't be half as regretful as Paris Hilton was. In fact, Nicole Richie will come out spitting nails and hurling accusations.

Countdown to Lindsay Lohan's trail...

Cube Farm Claims Another

An ode to my buddy over at Water the Blog:

A local woman was found dead on Monday afternoon in her cubicle. Apparent cause of death: boredom. Anita Break, 23, was found slumped over her computer keyboard with her iPod still thumping away. Multiple Excel spreadsheets and several technical papers were open on her computer.

Break was heard saying at 1:23, "If I see one more report, I'm going to croak." At 2:24 p.m., she opened an e-mail from co-worker Justin Time with a paper for her editing. The coroner said Break passed away at 2:25.

Justin Time came by at 3 to pick up the edits only to find Break dead. He was distraught to think he was to blame.

"I had no idea she was so bored," he said. "If I had known that, I would have sent her the other report I needed editing - one about the rapid decay of Missouri's caves. She would have loved it and would still be with us today. I guess I'll have to send it to Ryan Tin.

Ryan Tin was later found dead in his cubicle. The coroner is still investigating.