Leave me alone already

I rushed home and showered. I must have tried on 20 different outfits – one too sexy for a night in, another not sexy enough. I finally settled on my favorite pair of jeans and a low cut black tee. I had gained a little weight and it seemed like most of it had gone to my boobs. I knew they were looking good so I figured I might as well show them off.

I tried to convince myself that tonight was just going to be a casual movie night with my friend, but the butterflies in my stomach told me otherwise. I felt like I was about to go on a first date. I shook the feeling off and continued to get ready.

It was after 7 by the time I finished getting ready and still no Ben. I checked my watch again and shifted around on the couch. I was afraid that he had changed his mind. Maybe Gina and him had got back together. Or maybe he got in an accident on the way over. Or couldn’t find a movie.

But in the back of my head I was thinking that maybe he realized I wasn’t worth it. That I wasn’t good enough for him. The same way every other guy in my life, including my father, had decided that I wasn’t worth the time, wasn’t good enough for him. The knock on my door shook me out of my worrying. I hopped up and practically skipped to the door.

“I’m so glad you made it,” I said a little too eagerly as I swung the door open. The butterflies fluttered even harder when I saw who stood in front of me.