Friday, September 30, 2005

Senior Year

My senior year of college is moving way too fast. I'm afraid if I blink it's going to pass me by and be all over. I can't even believe it. Although I don't actually graduate until May, I will be job hunting in December because I will only be taking 4 hours. So starting pretty much in January I will be entering the workforce for the rest of my life. I'm not going to lie - it's scary.

But for now I am concentrating on making this the best year ever. I have great friends, good friends and other friends who are making my year amazing. It seems like there's never a moment where someone isn't calling or coming by wanting me to do something with them. I haven't even had time to post and I always make time to post!

I think I've finally realized this year that a year from now this will all be over. Not that I'm going to be any different probably but my situation will be. I won't be going to college, partying all hours of the morning and doing the things that have become my way of life. It's all going to change. I have to make the most of it now while I still can.

It was kind of funny last night while I was at the bar. 3 or 4 couples walked in right in a row and I was like "whoa that looks boring. i'm glad i'm not them." Over the last month I have really embraced my freedom. I love being able to do what I want with who I want when I want to. I never realized how many really hot, great guys are out there but it turns out it's not as underpopulated as I thought.

Oh on a funny thought I can't believe I haven't posted on this yet!! I got proposed to on Sunday. Lol. I know what you're wondering...WHAT? I thought she was just talking about being single...and I am. This guy I know called me up and told me I was the most amazing girl he had ever met and wanted me to marry him. At first I thought he was just joking but he was dead serious. He had it all planned out. We'll get married in a year, have seven kids, blah blah blah. I was like WHAT THE F*CK??? No thanks. We're not even dating. Then he wanted to date me...and I was like no it's not going to happen.

None of my friends can believe that I am still single. They always ask who I'm seeing now and how's my love life. But the thing is that I really don't want anyone. Yea I like to hook up every now and then but I do that already so why would I need a boyfriend for it. I can't imagine having another boyfriend right now. I just don't want that. I think my wild side is going a little too crazy right now and I know I couldn't control myself. I have no desire to.

So that is the rundown of my senior year so far. It's going great and will hopefully only get better. I'm going to enjoy it for now and not worry about the future because I know it will take care of itself!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Where's the Drama, Where's the Anger??

It took days of moodiness and an episode of Sex & the City to finally figure out what it is that I am craving so much. DRAMA! I feed off it. I love it. I need it. And I haven't had any for almost a month now.

I wouldn't call myself a drama queen but I would say that I crave drama. I like to fight. I like to complain. I like to be mad. I like to make up. Lately I haven't had any of that.

You see that's kind of what a boyfriend is for. Not completely but partly. You fight. You make up. You get mad. You unmad. You take out all your bottled up agression on them. Without a boyfriend, who do you take it out on?

My friends aren't going to take my shit. Not that I blame them cuz I wouldn't take theirs. As a friend you don't have to put up with crap like that. You can only listen to so much complaining. So much moodiness. So much bitching before you get fed up. After all you have other friends you can hang out with until that friend gets over their crap. But other boyfriends/girlfriends? You only have one (well for most of anyways).

So finally after days of being pissy for no clear reason I finally figured it out. I have pent up aggression (combined with plenty of sexual frustration) and no outlet to explode in! What do I have to do to release all this aggression, bitchiness, moodiness (and sexual frustration) out? And don't tell me to buy a vibrator cuz that just don't cut it!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Change of Scenery

I am bored. Bored with doing the same old thing. Bored with school. Bored with everything. I need to shake things up. I need a change of scenery. I need to do something wild and crazy that I would never do. Something unpredictable to break me out of this mundane pattern I have fallen so easily into. Any ideas?

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Sun Has Come Out.

I'm feeling much better today. What a difference a day makes. It's like one day you feel like you're at the bottom of the world and the next you're on the top. I settled a lot of things I have been dealing with and now feel happy again, at peace.

It's almost like I had an epiphony overnight and everything is suddenly peachy again. It might be raining outside but to me it's all sunshine! I am going to bask in the glow for awhile and then promise to post again soon. Hope everyone else is having as wonderful of a day as me! :)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Shake It Off

Today is one of those days where I am in one of those crazy little funks that you just can't shake yourself out of. I layed in bed for an hour this morning before I could finally drag myself out of bed. And now that I'm out I don't really feel much better. My whole body hurts and I'm tired for no reason whatsoever.

I really need to do something crazy and out of the ordinary so that I can shake it off. Lately that song by I'm not sure who, Shake It Off, has been really been preaching to me. It really sings to what I'm feeling. I had a crazy idea to drive somewhere just for no reason at all just to get away and do something different. I'm bored with the same old thing.

But unfortunately I'm too good of a student and not about to skip class. So I did drag myself out of bed for another day, put on my clothes, did my homework, and now I am off for another day of spacing out, taking notes mindlessly and counting down the hours till I can come home.

6 hours and counting.....

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

True or False?

My horoscope for the month:

Myschievous mercury stirs up a new love interest for you this month. At first you think that you're not interested but you have to give him more of a chance than just one dinner date. He might just be that guy you've been waiting for.

My mom read me that last night. She thought it was just hilarious. Why she was reading my horoscope I don't know because we weren't born in the same month. She was like "See I told you that you should give him a chance."

I don't know that I 100 percent believe horoscopes most of the time, especially not daily ones but my monthly ones in magazines tend to be pretty close to right on what's happening in my life. So what if this is true? Should I really believe it? I did have a dinner date and thought that I wasn't interested so that was right on. Could he be the guy I've been waiting for?

I better check some other magazines to see what they have to say about my life this month. If all the stars point to yes, then I might just have to rethink my decision!! I'm a taurus so if you have a magazine for September with my horoscope in it by all means let me know what it says! I have to get my life figured out here.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Life sucks

I seriously hate my life right now. I seriously hate myself right now. The world sucks. Life sucks. Fuck it all.

The "NICE" Guy

Nice guys finish last. It's not just a saying - it's a fact. I'm living proof.

I have the perfect guy who likes me, took me on a date, calls me 10 times a day and would do anything I asked. So what's the problem? It's too much. As much as I might claim I do, I don't want a guy to call me 10 times a day. I don't want him to call when I tell him to. I don't want him to be willing to drop everything if I invited him over. I want to work for it. That's the whole thrill. The chase. It's what I live for. The "nice" guy kills it.

Why can't I like this nice guy? He's smart, he's funny, he's cool. He's got money. But me? I've got no interest. Sure, I talk to him. I"m polite. I go out with him on occasion. I'm nice. But he doesn't do it for me.

So my friends say I shouldn't lead him on but I can't help myself. I might like him in a month, two months, a year. I don't know. Why can't I make him hang around until I decide? Isn't it only polite to answer his calls and pretend to be interested? Or is that wrong? I don't know if I should quit answering or keep it going on just in case he really is that nice guy I've always been waiting to come along. What's the proper etiquette here? Keep the convos and "dating" up or end it now before he gets hurt?

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Tailgating

It's that time of the year again. Football season. But frankly - football alone doesn't mean crap to me. It's the tailgating that has me jumping for joy. For those of you who aren't familiar with the concept of tailgating, you live such sad lifes. No just playing. But for real - tailgating is what us football fans like to call good food, good friends, and good LARGE amounts of alcohol.

Yes, that's right. Tailgating to me is drunken stupers, outrageous behavior, keg stands, beer bongs, mid-afternoon hangovers. Throw in a few burgers and hot dogs and one crazy game of football and you got yourself a party.

Today I got my football tickets. Hoorah! I actually plan on attending the games this year. Why? Because tailgating 3-6 hours before the game AND during the game then continuing to party throughout the night was just too much for this little girl. So instead I am using the game as a chance to sober up, let the beer soak in and take a break before I start chugging again.

I guess tailgating could be fun without alcohol. I'm sure many people tailgate without any Bud, Miller, or Coors but not me. I make sure I got plenty of alcohol, lots of fun friends and a safe place to party. Wouldn't want to get hit by a car or anything when I am laying on the ground passed out! No seriously - I hope I don't pass out but it's a large possibility. My alcohol tolerance isn't as high as it once was.

So now I tip my hat (even though I'm not wearing one) and raise a glass to the beginning of another great tailgating - oh and football - season. Let the games begin.

What's your favorite part of tailgating?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Who Knew??

I always thought that guys were only interested in you when you have a boyfriend. That has always been my luck in the past. Whenever I've had a boyfriend, guys have flocked to me, wanted to date me and told me they liked me. So I thought for sure now that I'm single I wouldn't have any guys come on to me..however, that hasn't been the case.

Who knew that my recent breakup would have so many guys jumping out of the woodwork. First of all, I had not one but TWO dates over the weekend. I only went on one and stood the other guy up. Yes, it was mean. I shouldn't have done it but I only had time for one date.

Besides the guys who have already asked me on a date I have also had multiple guys call me and tell me they like me and ask me to do something sometime or just messaging me wanting to go out with me. How weird is that??? Guys that I never even knew had any interest in me. It's been insane. I am so shocked by all of this sudden interest I don't even know how to respond most of the time.

The problem is that I have no desire to date. Going on my first date post-breakup made that crystal clear. I'm not interested in dating or having a boyfriend. Yes, the companionship would be great but I can get that just as easily from my friends. I don't want a man right now. I don't even want to date anybody. Hookup maybe - but date - no.

I think right now it's just important for me to have fun, enjoy my last year of college and go out with my friends single. That's all I want. I've had a boyfriend for way too long. Now it's time to concentrate on me and pamper myself. All that attention was just wasted on guys. It's time for a little TLC for good old Veeba. And I have plenty of it to give!

Sorry my blogs lately have been all over the place. I just have a lot of things going through my head and a lot of insanity all bottled up! I'm hoping my life calms down soon and I can get my focus back...until then bare with me! I love you all! :)