I may be crazy but...

It's a possibility that I am certifiably insane. I am about to embark on one of the craziest adventures of my life. I am going to attempt to write a novel in a month. I have entered National Novel Writing Month. National Novel Writing Month, aka nanowrimo, is a charge to write 50,000 words during the month of November.

I've always said I want to be an author and I'm going to write a book. When I was 12, I hand wrote a 196 page book (yes I had big handwriting), but since then I have been upcapable of writing an entire novel.

I began one last summer and made it to 15,000 words but couldn't decide on an ending for the novel so the unfinished manuscript still sits on my computer hard drive waiting to see how it will end. This really disappoints all of my friends who I had let read the early manuscript and I have left hanging on who the murderer is going to be.

My downfall was letting people read it before I was finished. They could give me feedback and ideas and it really messed up the flow of my book and stunted my creativity. I’m not going to make that same mistake twice. No one – and I do mean no one will read my book or know what is going to happen until Nov. 30 at midnight when I write my 50,000th word (or more if I am feeling really creative next month).

I am going to try not to even talk about the storyline more than I have already. My book is entitled “The Quest for the Holy Diamond” and is sort of the story of my life and my desire to get engaged to my boyfriend. It’s not entirely autobiographical though. It is only based loosely on my story. The characters are not me and my boyfriend – despite how interesting we think we are, I doubt anyone else would enjoy reading about our love for watching movies.

I am excited; I am nervous; I am anxious to begin this journey. I have high hopes that my novel will be a bestseller but whether I sell 0 copies or a million copies I am going to be a success because I am going to write a novel in a month.

In the meantime, I’m going to be incredibly caffeinated and bitchy! Sorry for that.

Fist What

We've all been there, when the other person holds up their fish towards you begging for the meeting of the fists, the hippest new high five, hand shake. But here's the question, what is this meeting of the fists called?

I call it a fist knocker. One fist knocks the other one to say hey, how are you or cool idea or way to go. Whatever you're trying to say, the fist knocker conveys it.

Yet the other day I heard a guy call it a fist ease (not sure how ease would be spelled so I'll do my best). I'd never heard it referred to this way so it made me question myself or maybe him.

On a t.v. commercial, another man called it a knuckle bump. "Hey, man, knuckle bump!"

So many names, one fist to fist greeting. So what's the proper slang? Tell me what you call it? I'd hate to use not so cool language with such a cool gesture.

Fist knocker, fist ease, knucker knocker, something else entirely? Give it to me straight!

The Long Goodbye

He looks so cold and still
Silent as the night
Just by looking at him
I can tell something isn’t right

Is he going to tell me goodbye
Will he say he’ll miss me
Or will he keep on staring
Like he doesn’t even see

It’s time for him to say something
I’d be happy with just a smile
To let me know everything’s okay
If only for a little while

But there is nothing
Silence is all I hear
I stand there shaking
Down comes another tear

He isn’t going to smile
He isn’t going to talk
We’ll never even get to
Take another walk

He didn’t leave a note
He didn’t tell us why
He didn’t even take the time
To tell us all goodbye

It’s too late to take it back
The decision has been made
It won’t be much longer
Before all our memories fade

They say it’s almost time
Take just one last glance
If you want to say goodbye
This is your last chance

The casket is closing now
It’s headed in the ground
Still you do not move
Silence is the only sound

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride

Another wedding, another supporting role, another time I didn’t get the starring role. I am serving as bridesmaid extraordinaire once again for another friend’s wedding, this time my sisters. This is my third experience as a bridesmaid – twice for sisters, once for my best friend; and to tell you the truth, it’s exhausting.

Couples shower, bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, pre-wedding prep and finally the big moment. The only release is the reception where you can finally get lit and run around three sheets to the wind.

Of course, even the reception isn’t all fun and games because you have to prepare for the big toast. For me, the big toast is even more exhausting because I am a journalism graduate, a former newspaper reporter and a novelist hopeful, so friends and family expect more from me than the typical toast.

My first experience as a bridesmaid I didn’t have to give a toast. My second time I did and delivered successfully with great love and live quotes that no one was familiar with weaved intricately into a speech about how much my friend meant to me. Unfortunately I can’t reuse though since half of the guests at this wedding were also at the last wedding I gave the toast at (joys of living in a small town).

I decided this time, since the bride was my sister, I had to step it up a notch and deliver a truly memorable toast unlike the typical bridesmaid/maid-of-honor toast. I crafted a special poem about growing up together and my sister and her fiancé meeting specialized just for them with rhyming couplets. I think mission accomplished but I guess I’ll let the crowd be the judge of that. Will I get monstrous applause or eardrum-shattering silence? Let’s the hope not the latter.

Furthermore, I hate being stared at. It’s horrifying for me. I get insanely embarrassed, my face turns bright red and I get fidgety. So why not stand in front of 200 people for an hour? Perfect. Last time I was in a wedding, I stumbled on the bottom of my dress going up the stairs, then had to step down in order to get up on the stair. All while trying to be graceful and elegant. Ha!

The big moment is only two days away. Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed that I make it down the aisle without a hitch and deliver a flawless and moving toast! Score two for the bridesmaid!

Oh and Thad, if you’re reading, yes another wedding! You know what that means...