Revisions

The more I edit my book, the most I dislike it. I keep coming up with ideas of ways it could have been better if only I could do it over. I need to write. Editing is not my passion. Writing is. So I've decided to start writing a little story once a week just for fun. It probably won't make any sense or maybe it will. Who knows.


After several days of rain, the sun had finally decided to show its face again. I had thought about venturing out but then had reconsidered. I hadn't been outside in over two weeks. Why start now? I had finally turned my cell phone on yesterday and tried to call the voicemail but hung up after I heard 'You have 97 new messages'. I hadn't had 97 messages cumulative the entire time I had owned my phone. It proved my theory that no one ever called unless you weren't in the mood to talk.

I hadn't bothered calling in sick to work. I hoped they would understand. Who was I kidding? They had probably already sent me my walking papers. I wouldn't know though since I hadn't checked my mailbox. By now, they had probably hired some bubbly little girl straight out of college with an 'I can do anything better than you' attitude. What did I care? Work was the last thing I wanted to do.

I had watched enough of the Young & the Restless to feel like I lived in Genoa City. Their drama had become mine as I became engrossed in their crazy lives. One thing was for sure if I was writing for the soap, the storyline would be a lot better.

For the first few days, someone had kept coming to my door trying to get me to open up. I didn't. My family lived too far away so I knew it couldn't be them. Knowing my mom she had called the landlord or a local friend to have them come "check" up on me as she would have put it. I didn't need checking up on. I could tell her that. I was fine. Just fine. And no one would know any different.

Sports and Skirts

My fiance and I are trying something new. He wanted us to start a blog where we pick a subject and both talk about it so we can see the differences between girls and guys think and hear the male and female perspective on a subject.

You can check out our new blog by going to sportsandskirts.blogspot.com! Our first post is Top 3 Sitcom Stupid Husbands and Bitchy Wives. Enjoy. :)

Aspirations

Dreams are good to have. They keep you grounded; they give you something to work towards; they make every day worth living. I used to dream of being an actress, a singer, a beautiful celebrity - unfortunately none of those dreams were realistic for me. But those dreams weren't real. They were more fantasies.

I am well on my way to feeling very accomplished. I have a college degree, a good job and an amazing fiance who will soon be my husband. It would be very easy to feel content. While I think content is a good feeling, I don't think it's good to ever feel completely content. Once you get content, you get lazy and there's nothing left to aspire to.

It's easy to feel knocked down and to feel like my dream is too hard to achieve but I know they are not. They are well in my grasp. They are not easy to achieve but that doesn't not make them unachievable. It will just take hard work and a lot of determination. It will be the hardest thing I have ever done but at the same time it will be the most rewarding.

Just imagine: Veeba, NY Times Best Selling Author!

What kind of world do we live in?

I have to say that I am very saddened by the events that took place yesterday at Virginia Tech. I usually try to keep my blog from being so serious but it’s hard to do that when massacres like the one that happened yesterday occur. It opens your eyes to what a scary world this can be.

My heart goes out to students, friends, family and anyone else directly involved with the Virginia Tech shootings. I think the whole world is praying for you right now. This was a terrible tragedy that has shaken the entire country.

You always think this could never happen to me or to my school but the truth is that it could. I am sure Virginia Tech was saying the same thing just two days ago and now it has happened to them of mass proportions. It’s a sick world out there. Events like Columbine, the Amish schoolhouse shooting and Virginia Tech remind you just how sick people can be.

I’ve never understood how someone can justify taking another person’s life. It happens more and more every day and it scares me. It scares us all. I think it’s time we all open our eyes and realize that there are no guarantees for tomorrow.

I think this quote puts it best:

Work like you don't need money
Love like you've never been hurt
And dance like no one's watching

Ouch

It's Friday and normally I would be very happy to hear that but today I have a problem that threatens to ruin my weekend. I think I have a tooth abcess or whatever the hell they are called. My left cheek is swollen and I have a nasty lump that I can feel along my jaw line. It's freaking me out.

I get a little stressed when I get things wrong with me and tend to think the worst. I would say I was a hypochondriac except it usually just so happens that the things I think are wrong with me really are! I thought something was terribly wrong with my back in high school but my family doctor just kept telling me I had a "weak" back and to go to physical therapy. He was wrong. I had a herniated disc that required surgery. Had he caught it earlier I might have been able to control the pain with steroid shots and not have required surgery.

My first though whenever something is wrong is always crazy. Oh my god it's cancer. It's meningitis. This sneeze means I have pneumonia. Usually not the case but with my history it's better to be safe than sorry. A $25 doctor's visit is cheaper than chemotherapy or expensive surgery and eases my mind!

I realized last night that I'm starting to rub off on my fiance. Last night when he came home from work he made me feel a place on his head. He was convinced he had a brain tumor. Upon further investigation of the spot, it appeare he had been bitten by something. (I secretly cheered because our house has a spider problem and he always laughs at me because I wake up every morning with a new spider bite and he hadn't had a single one until then.)

My mom always said I should marry a doctor but I'm not. She always laughed and said I should be a research guinea pig so they could use me as a test case because the doctors never can figure out what the heck is wrong with me until they've ran every test imagineable. I don't know how I feel about people poking and prodding on me though!

For now, I'm stuck wondering what this damn lump is...

Martini Monday=Terrible Tuesday

What do one, two, three martinis do to a working girl? Make a fun Monday night and a really crappy Tuesday morning. I am suffering the effects of a hangover and I forgot just how NOT fun they are.

It's been awhile since I've drank on a weeknight. In fact, I rarely drink on weekends lately. However, with a friend in town night, we decided to paint the town red. It all started out with just one drink and a bite to eat and ended....well, I can't remember how it ended.

Okay, I'm lying there. I wasn't that bad but I was definitely tipsy and I felt the effects this morning. I debated calling in sick (technically I was) but decided to tough it out. Not sure why - maybe to teach myself a lesson and not reward myself for my own stupidity.

Pink Panther, Strawberry Starburst, Flirtini, Cosmopolitan - they must be foreign for "You're going to feel really bad tomorrow." Oh so right you are!

Wedding Waste

$11,500

 

That's how much my wedding is going to cost me.

 

It's ridiculous. I know. I have tried and tried to keep the cost to the minimum but it still will easily exceed $10,000. I picked a small town because prices are cheaper there. I am not doing any extra stuff nor have I planned anything elaborate. I have only the basics. And as I write this, I just realized that I did not include flowers in this price which could easily cost me another $500.

 

That chunk of money is money that could be going toward a downpayment on a house. That is money that could be put toward our retirement. That is money that could be saved for our children's college fund. That is money that could be used for a lot of things that we don't currently have. After all, we are 23-year-olds starting our lives with a negative net worth (thanks to student loans).

 

The average cost of weddings today is over $20,000 so my wedding is even cheap in comparison but I still think $11,000 is way too much money to be spending on ONE day of our life. It makes me sick to think of all the wonderful ways I could spend that money if it wasn't going toward my wedding. To be fair, I am not paying for my wedding in entirety. Both my parents and my fiance's parents are chipping to take some of the burden off of us. However, my fiance figured up last night how much money the wedding would cost us and it came to over $5,000. Of course a large chunk of this money includes the honeymoon and our wedding bands but still this is too much money! 

 

I would like to just forego the whole thing and put that money in a Roth IRA or my 401K or a CD or just put it towards a downpayment on a house. But instead it's going toward one day - granted it is supposed to be the most important day of my life and I am very excited about it - but still it's one day. And I certainly don't make that kind of money in one day! I've finally resolved to forget about what it's costing me and all the stress of it all and just enjoy it because I certainly hope this is the only wedding I'm ever going to have and I want it to be unforgettable. So now I'm looking forward to the wedding but not nearly as much as I'm looking forward to the honeymoon!! Woohoo.