Stumbling

I pulled back. “What in the world are you doing?”

“We lost it.”

“You lost it. You lost it all. That’s for sure.”

“No, Addy, SHE lost it.”

“Lost what?” I was thoroughly confused. What in the world was he talking about?

“We lost the baby, Addy. She had a miscarriage. I just found out. I’ve been sitting on your front step for hours waiting for you to come home to tell you the good news.

“Good news? Good news?” I was slightly miffed. “How is a woman having a miscarriage good news? A woman carrying YOUR baby?”

“I was sad at first. I was excited to become a father. But then it hit me. I was with her because of the baby. That’s all. I thought that I had fallen for her but it was just the baby that I had fallen for. I was in love with the idea of being a father. But if there was no baby, there was no us, which meant I was free.”

I laughed. “You certainly are. I’m glad you take so much pleasure out of it.”

Brad grabbed my hands. “I’m free, baby. Free to be with you again. We can get married after all.”

“Baby? Married? I think you’re moving a little quickly here. You’re free alright, Brad. But as far as I’m concerned, you’re going to stay that way.”

I turned to walk away and stumbled a little up the front step.

“Are you drunk?” Brad asked.

“Of course not,” I said as I chuckled.

“You’re freaking drunk. How am I supposed to have a serious conversation with you when you’re drunk?”

“Oh, Brad. Any chance of us having a serious relationship went out the window when you ruined our “serious” relationship by climbing into bed with another woman. So maybe you’re the one who should be having a “serious” conversation with yourself.”

He grabbed me by the shoulder and started to help me up the steps. I didn’t want – or need – any help, especially not from him. I pushed him back and hurdled up the steps and to the door. Brad followed behind.

“If you think I’m letting you in this door, you have another thing coming. You need to hit the road, Brad.”

He started to say something but thought better of it. He knew how angry of a drunk I could be. I was the daughter of an alcoholic father and the disease didn’t strike too far from home. I had wavered on the side of an addiction when I first met Brad and he had saved me from the self-destruction that was sure to come. I guess that was one thing I could be thankful to Brad for. One of many…