Feels like Home

“Come on, Ben. I think you’re great. I just, well, I just don’t know.

“You just what, Addy?”

“I haven’t really ever thought of you like that. You really took me by surprise kissing me like that yesterday, and I don’t really know how to respond.”

“You can’t tell me that you never knew how I felt about you. You had to have known. It was apparently pretty obvious to everyone else.”
“I don’t know. I guess I got the impression now and then but I didn’t really think much of it. I had a fiancé. I was getting married. I wasn’t thinking about other guys. I’m still not. I don’t want to shut the door but I’m not sure the door is open yet at this point. It’s been a rough few months, really really rough. I just need some time to get myself back together before I can explore anything with anybody.”

“Okay.” Ben said as he reached for the knob. I reached out and touched his hand.

“Stay. Please.”

“And do what? Pretend that I don’t want to touch you? Pretend that I’m not dying to kiss you? It’s not that easy.”

“How about we compromise?”
“What? How do you propose we do that?”

“We watch the movie and do a little – a little – cuddling. But no kissing. And no inappropriate touching. Or at least not much.” I said winking at him flirtatiously.

He grinned. “I think I can accept that. The not much part anyway.” He winked back. We put the movie in, moved to the couch and I settled in to his arms. It felt strangely familiar like I had been doing it for years. Sometime during the movie and before the credits I dozed off and apparently Ben did too. The next thing I know I woke up and looked at the clock on the DVD player. 3:07.

I guess my movement woke Ben because he began stirring as well. He pulled me closer to him and squeezed my hand. A minute later he opened his eyes.

“Addy? What time is it? Is the movie over? I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“It’s 3 in the morning, Ben.”

“Shit.” He sat up and ran his hands through his hair. “I guess I better get going.” He started to get up but I motioned for him to stay seated.

“Why don’t you just stay here tonight? It’s late and you’ve been asleep. Would that be okay?”

He grinned. “If I didn’t know you, Addy, I’d think you were trying to get me in bed with you.”

I laughed coyly. “Oh, you wish. I’ll just bring you some blankets and you can sleep on the couch.”

“Ouch. I knew that was coming. I guess beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll take what I can get. Just knowing you’re in the same house is enough.” He winked and settled back onto the couch. I grabbed some blankets and a pillow from the linen closet and brought it to him. I laid them on top of him as his left eye opened to look at me. He reached out and grabbed me by the waist pulling me on top of him. I plopped over him catching my breath.

“Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look tonight? Because you do.”
“Oh, stop it. My hair – it’s a mess. I’ve been sleeping.”

“Sleeping beauty,” he said as he ran his hand over my hair and tucked a stray piece behind my ear. His hand floated down and lightly grasped my chin. My breath caught in my throat. He leaned forward and kissed me ever so gently. It was light; it was soft but with just a tough of male desire. I gasped. I leaned back and he rolled over onto his side.

“Good night, Addy.” And a few seconds later he was snoring softly. I watched over him for a few minutes before making my way up to my own room and bed still slightly unsettled and unsure of just what exactly Ben had aroused in me. One thing was for sure – he had certainly aroused something and it felt good. Really good.