He'll be coming around the mountain when he comes...

I could not be a military wife, girlfriend, mother, friend. It wouldn't work. I have come to that realization after spending 3 weeks away from my fiance. He has been on vacation in Australia since Christmas and is returning this evening. I can't wait to see him. It's been awful not having him here with me.

I have experienced what would happen if I was a military wife before. When I was 19, my boyfriend at the time enlisted in the National Guard. He left for the summer to go to boot camp and during that time I fell out of love with him. At first I missed him and it was hard but gradually I began to forget about him and his calls became more of an annoyance than a job. At the beginning I waited by the phone for his call. At the end, he was lucky if I even took the call. The day after he came back, I broke his heart. I still don't know if he's ever forgiven me.

Don't worry - there's no danger of that happening with my new fiance. I still love him and missed him terribly while he was gone and can't wait for him to return. However, I did notice that the more days that went by the less I thought about him (but I still thought about him lots).

I just think it would be hard to have your husband be gone for months, years at a time. At some point you have to stop yourself from thinking about him, relying on him and become more independent. You become a singular unit instead of this collective Mr. and Mrs. And at some point when he returns he throws your whole life out of whack. You have someone who you have to call if you're going to be late, you have someone you have to consult before making decisions. It's just different.

With that being said, I am so thankful that my fiance is not in the military. Don't get me wrong I would be extremely proud of him and support him wholly, it would just be hard and I don't think I'm cut out for that. I give props to the countless women (and men) who do it every day.