Down but Not Out

It's Thursday and we all know what that means - it's almost the weekend!! I, for one, could not be any happier. It's been a long week to say the least. I've thought it was Friday all day but at least Friday is in sight. The week wasn't bad, just a little stressful. I had a big problem with one of my projects that led me to have a major freakout but luckily it was quickly handled and corrected. It was stressful but was a valuable experience in problem-solving.

 

I went bowling last night. I love all things sports related. I had the highest bowling score for the girls the first and last game but sucked it up in the middle. I tend to have an issue staying focused. However, since it was four couples and we combined couple scores we came in dead last each time. How does that work? My fiance was low scorer among the boys every game. He really doesn't suck though! He was just playing against some hella bowlers! One even brought his own ball and shoes. Now you know that is a seasoned bowler.

 

Plans for the weekend don't amount to much. Might be hitting up the future hubby's hometown. I wasn't excited at first - not that I don't like visiting his parents but sometimes I just like to stay at home and relax. Now I'm glad to be going because we can do wedding stuff, like talk to the tux shop and meet the preacher (if he is even doing my wedding - right now he hasn't confirmed!), talk to his parents about some issues and ideas. Wedding planning definitely keeps me busy!

 

Aside from that - not a whole lot to report except IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY...almost!

AI Oh My!

I have to comment on the craziness that is American Idol. If you're not watching it, you should be. I know a lot of people hate it and think it is the devil but I don't understand that thought process. The show helps people go on to live their dream and hooks them up with a killer recording contract. What is evil about that? Nothing in my book.

I hate to plug the site but there's a Web site called Vote For the Worst that picks the worst contestant each week and asks people to call in and vote for them. Apparently last week the site had 4 million hits. I think that does well to explain why Sanjaya is still in the competition despite his terrible performances week after week (he is currently the Vote For The Worst pick – I believe Taylor Hicks was last season but don't quote me on that).

I'm sorry but Sanjaya is terrible. TERRIBLE. When I watch him, I'm humiliated for him. It's to the point where I can't even figure out how he even made it past his first audition. His voice sounds like awful karaoke singing. I think he seems like a cute kid and a genuinely nice guy but this is a singing competition and he can't sing!

Granted I don't always vote for the best singer. I occasionally vote on looks too or personality or just my personal preference. In the first season I liked Kelly Clarkson (and still do). In Carrie's season I liked Carrie (and still do). Last season I loved Chris Daughtry (his CD rocks!) and Katharine McPhee. I wasn't a big fan of Taylor Hicks. So who am I digging and dialing for this season? Gina Glocksen. I've voted for her every week. She's not the best singer. I agree with that but I like her and I can't explain why. Maybe I'll change my mind but for now I'll keep voting. I also love Blake Lewis because he is different – he is not a cookie cutter singer. He has his own unique style.

Who are you voting for? Please tell me it's not Sanjaya…

Monday Fun Day

No I am not crazy – the headline is a joke. Monday is never a fun day. In fact, Monday is the worst day of the week. After sleeping in and lounging on the couch all weekend, my alarm rings at the crack of dawn for me to get up, get dressed up and head to work. As if that’s not bad enough, my Mondays are always full of meetings that packs my head full of useless crap.

I e-mail my friend on Monday mornings with the same first line. It’s Monday – only 4 more days until the weekend – let the countdown begin! It’s sad I know but it’s the only thing I have to look forward to. What really sucks is that we have to work 5 days a week and only get 2 days to relax. I could use just a little more R&R than that.

In case you were wondering which I’m sure you weren’t, my weekend was good. I went shopping which is one of my favorite activities. I bought the cutest dress for my rehearsal dinner. Now if I could just get the stupid rehearsal dinner planned – oh yeah and the rest of the wedding. No, I didn’t accomplish anything over the weekend. I am the queen of procrastination.

Hope everyone has a great week. Countdown with me…5…4…

More wedding drama

TGIF!! Woohoo. I could not be more excited to spend the weekend relaxing and hanging with my favorite man. We don't have any exciting plans for St. Patty's Day but just spending time with him excites me enough! It's been a long week and I am very tired.

The wedding plans are still not moving along. We ran into some drama last night with the plans. My future hubby's family was none too happy that I am not having his little sis stand up with me. How they know this I'm not sure since I haven't told them anything about who I picked to be my bridesmaids. And furthermore, I considered having her stand up with me and my fiance didn't think it was necessary. His sister is a good 8 years younger than us so they were never really close growing up. She is going to be in our wedding but as a guest book attendant. Drama drama drama.

This added drama just pushes me one step forward to wanting to fly away and get married in some tropical destination, just the 2 of us where it will be drama free. We'll see if that happens.

Did I mention it's Friday??? Woohoo!

The March Blues

54 days away from my next work holiday and counting...

March and April really suck when you're a so-called grown-up and work for a living. There isn't a single holiday or day off thrown in there to give us hard working people a break from work. I have been working for about 10 months now and this is the first time that I have become restless and depressed with the endless saga of work.

It's not that I'm unsatisfied because my work is fine as usual. It's just that I need a break. Sure, I have earned time off but I'm saving it. Why? Because I'm getting married in nine months and I'm going to need it and furthermore, I'm a female who could end up pregnant one of these days and need oh say 6 weeks off and I don't want to have to take it unpaid.

My fiance has been getting the worst of my attitude. I go home from work tired and grouchy and I take it out on him. It's stressful to say the least. Somehow I have to figure out how to shake myself out of these March blues because if I don't, April blues are going to hit me like a giant sack of bricks.

Somebody help! What are the best way to ease the working woman (or man) blues?

Everything is Harder Than It Looks

Mood right now: I just wanna cry

I want to be a writer but not just any old writer - I want to be an author. I want to be an author and I'm sick of just saying that and saying eventually I want to be an author. Eventually might not ever come unless I buckle down right now and try hard to make "eventually" right now. I have composed my first completed novel. I finished it in November - November 30 to be exact. Where is it now? Sitting at home on a jump drive waiting to be edited.

Today I decided that it was time that I jump in head first and pursue my lifelong dream of being an author. It's time to dust off that old memory stick, put it in my computer and start editing. Today I also started researching possible agents to query on my novel. This is the most intimidating thing to me for some reason. I have become a regular reader of misssnark.blogspot.com where an agent answers aspiring author's questions and discusses issues she regularly sees with query letters, manuscript and people. I often find myself falling into the trap she warns her young snarklings against. This terrifies me. Furthermore, today while researching one of the agents I'm considering querying I ran upon her blog. As I read one of her entries, she said there is nothing she hates more than a fiction author who claims that the manuscript is her true story. One line in my already penned query letter says: I AM my nagging, scheming main character. Oops. Already received a no from her without even submitting it unless I revise my query letter (which obviously I will).

Don't get me wrong - I am not going to give up on pursuing my dream of becoming an author. It's always been my dream and until I die I don't plan on giving up on that. I want to be an author. I will be an author. The process is just going to be a lot harder than I ever imagined. I'm not lucky enough to be one of those regular people who has an agent or editor or publishing house just wander onto her blog and fall in love with her flair for writing and insist on signing this blogger to a book deal here and now (yes this really does happen and I know a person it did happen to). Unfortunately that person wasn't me and it's never going to be.

In order to make this particular dream come true, I'm going to have to work hard and I'm going to have to become hardened. I've never taken criticism well and I don't expect this to be any different. If I query 50 agents and they all turn me down, I am going to cry. I am going to be devastated. I am going to want to give up. But I can't. I know that I can't. And I refuse to let myself. I just have to continue to pursue my dream. Sometimes pursuing your dreams can be a tough road to haul!

Hey, baby, Let's go to Vegas

One day I am stoked about planning my wedding in the town my fiance grew up and the next I'm freaked out about the whole idea and really just want to run off to Hawaii or Vegas or somewhere and elope. It's confusing to say the least.

I go dress shopping and I'm excited to find the perfect dress. I go look at churche and I love the church and can't wait to get married there. I get excited about the reception and the midnight balloon drop and throwing a great party.

And then there's the other side of me. The side that is afraid that people are going to crash the party that I don't like. The side that hated prom and everything that went with. The side that doesn't even care anything about the whole wedding ceremony. The side of me that wants to run away and do it all alone in Hawaii or Mexico with just me and Lee. To be honest, that's the side the most often wins out.

So why bother? Why have the big wedding? I guess you could say part of me still wants that. Part of me wants mine and his family and friends to be there to share that special day. Part of me wants the big tadoo where I am center of attention. Part of me wants the big wedding. The other part of me - the part that is louder most days - doesn't. That part of me is doing it because everyone expects me to have the big wedding. They want to share part of my big day.

I understand this but isn't this my day? Shouldn't I do what I want? And deep down what I really want is to run away with the man I love and get married on a beach underneath the sunset next to the beautiful ocean!