One day I am stoked about planning my wedding in the town my fiance grew up and the next I'm freaked out about the whole idea and really just want to run off to Hawaii or Vegas or somewhere and elope. It's confusing to say the least.
I go dress shopping and I'm excited to find the perfect dress. I go look at churche and I love the church and can't wait to get married there. I get excited about the reception and the midnight balloon drop and throwing a great party.
And then there's the other side of me. The side that is afraid that people are going to crash the party that I don't like. The side that hated prom and everything that went with. The side that doesn't even care anything about the whole wedding ceremony. The side of me that wants to run away and do it all alone in Hawaii or Mexico with just me and Lee. To be honest, that's the side the most often wins out.
So why bother? Why have the big wedding? I guess you could say part of me still wants that. Part of me wants mine and his family and friends to be there to share that special day. Part of me wants the big tadoo where I am center of attention. Part of me wants the big wedding. The other part of me - the part that is louder most days - doesn't. That part of me is doing it because everyone expects me to have the big wedding. They want to share part of my big day.
I understand this but isn't this my day? Shouldn't I do what I want? And deep down what I really want is to run away with the man I love and get married on a beach underneath the sunset next to the beautiful ocean!
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2 comments:
I vote for a Hawaiian wedding... forget all that formal stuff. All you need is a simple white dress, some sandals and - most importantly - your favorite wedding photographers.
i vote for the jop to do the duty. all this wedding crap stresses me out!
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