Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Divorced by 21??? They're too young!

I moved! It was a big pain in the butt but I am finally in my new home. I love it. It’s so much bigger and we live right next to a park so maybe it will give me incentive to work out. So sorry I didn’t write yesterday but we haven’t had a chance to install our internet yet so work internet is all I have! And I’m not even supposed to be on that. But I couldn’t let me blogger friends down.

Another friend got engaged over the weekend. Not just a friend. An ex-boyfriend. It seems like everyone around me is getting engaged. One of my best friends is married, the other getting married in 2 weeks. My co-worker is getting married this weekend. And now my ex. It was a shock.

It’s not that I’m not happy for my friend and ex because I am. I am glad they are happy and found someone they truly love. What I don’t understand is why so young? These aren’t the olden days. We don’t have to get married anymore at 19, 20, 21. We’re not going to die when we’re 50. Life expectancy has increased and according to statistics so has the age to marry. But lately the statistics have lied.

My friend and her boyfriend been dating 9 months. My ex and his girlfriend have been dating less than 9 months. At 9 months you are still learning a lot about each other. You haven’t hit the one-year rocky point yet. I can’t even count the number of couples I know that date 2 years and break up because they realize that the other person just isn’t the one. They haven’t made it to the 2 year mark yet. When they do they’ll be married. Divorced by 21, 22, 23? That’s ridiculous. You shouldn’t have even been married yet at this age!

My friend is 19 marrying a 24 year old. My friend is 19 marrying a 24 year old. I think this is too young. At 19, 20, 21, 22, you are still in college. You don’t know who you are. You don’t know who you are going to be. People change. Especially after college. How can you say that this person you are happy with now you are still going to be happy with in 5, 10 years? These people are too young to make this decision.

All my friends are telling me that I’ll be the next to get married. All my friends are. And even though I know that I am not ready to get married I still feel the pressure. When will I get engaged? Why am I not getting married? Everyone else is. Then it hits me…because I’m 21. I’M NOT READY! I am perfectly happy being simply in love, dating, together with my boyfriend. I don’t need a ring or a wedding to confirm that.


I think that if you are truly in love and don’t fear falling out then you won’t rush into marriage. Wait 1, 2, 3 years. Maybe even more. Live together, love each other, be happy just being together. Don’t rush into marriage. Don’t feel like the only way your love can be confirmed is through a marriage certificate. Because it can’t.

So I’m taking bets on how long these marriage will last? Not only last because some are just pathetic enough to stay with someone they don’t love and will be miserable enough. So how long will they last and just how long will the honeymoon last? Let’s hear your thoughts. My money’s on 6 months.

6 comments:

Anisa said...

veeba, i agree with you. i'm 25 and got married at 24. when i was 21 or 22, i was a completely different person! i just think if you get married too young that if has a big chance of not working because people change so much from the time they're in college to the time they're 24 or 25. it's an entirely different phase of life.

Just Me said...

In Utah your an old maid if not married by the time your 20! It's a lot harder to find a guy when your 24 or 25 in Utah, but I found a great guy, I got married at 24 and I'm glad I waited as long as I did. But I admit, I was afraid I'd never get married, all my friends were getting married and then there was me.
But getting married so young doesn't mean divorce by 21. My twin sister was married at 16 and she's celebrating her 11th anniversary next month. They are happy as ever.

Steph said...

Oh Veebs, I have so much to say about this subject, hence I will keep it short.

I'm glad I am not married now. I am 27 and I'm greatful that I didn't leap to marry my ex. I would be in a lot of trouble today if I did. I don't really think anyone is really ready to get married until after 25, 26, 27 even! The 20's are for exploring and learning about yourself and what you want in life. I have done alot of that the last six years.

I have changed as a person and realized that my needs are quite different than what they were when I was 22, 23, 24.

You have the rest of your life to share with someone. Why jump into it so young when your not even sure what you want. Although some people can be together at a young age and make it work. And that is great for them. I just don't think someone has grown up enough at that age. Just my opinion.

P.s. I too, am tired of all the "when are you guys getting married" crap. I think I'm going to send out a mass email to all my friends and family that says "please do not ask about me getting married until after the year 2020. Then we can talk"

Revee said...

Haha steph. That's what I say. At my friends shower her mom asked me when I was getting married and I said "Check back in 2010. Then I might now." Lol! You are so right

Just Me said...

Wait until you are married and you start getting the "when are you having kids" questions!

Hi my name is actually said...

I am divorced and 21... it happens a lot.