UPDATE

Cute boy who asked me on a date already called. I figured he'd wait until at least Wednesday. I guess he needs some nursing! :)

Celebrity Marriage

Okay so this hasn't happened for awhile - 2 posts in 1 day! It's amazing. Sadly enough I just finished reading celebrity gossip online on msn.com as well as EOnline. If you've read/heard any celebrity gossip, you know it's almost all about TomKat, Britney and Kevin, Jessica and Nick's breaking up/not breaking up/hiding their breakup/blah blah blah.

This is even harder to admit but I watched Britney and Kevin Chaotic last night on VH1 and it showed their surprise wedding. First of all, I couldnt' believe they didn't even tell their parents. And second of all, Brit's dad did not look too happy about the whole thing.

Anyways...this brings me to my current thought. Why do the tabloids, public, ME pay so much attention to who's dating, who's getting married, who's breaking up and who's pregnant. The only thought that ran through my head during Chaotic was I wonder how long until they'll be divorced.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist but I don't really have any faith in the establishment of marriage. Did you know that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. No, I did not make this statistic up. It's true. Check it out if you don't believe me. My jaw dropped last week when I heard this statistic. 50 PERCENT! That is half of all marriages that end in divorce. We all know that it's way higher for celebrities but I can't believe it's that high for normal people.

Although I pretend to be surprised, I'm not really. I have long said this. Whenever a friend gets married, we make bets on how long it will last. The people that aren't divorced don't really like each other. Geez, my parents fight all the time. I rarely see them kiss. Same goes for my sister and her husband. No marriage lasts. They're all a sham.

I wish I didn't have to be such a pessimist but thats the way I am. I can look at the statistics and know what's true or not. I myself hope that I never get divorced. I don't believe in divorce but I know people change and love is only temporary. So divorce sometimes is the only option. But I guess I don't have to worry about divorce since I probably won't even ever get married!! Haha.

Graduation Jitters

I don't really know what to write about today. I don't have a whole lot to say. The weekend was good but no crazy stories thank god! Yesterday I went to the movies and saw "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz. It was really great. Definitely a chick flick so leave the boys at home but I would strongly recommend seeing it.

I am trying to schedule my four hours I need for next semester. I have no idea what to take or when or how to take it. I could take online courses, night classes or regular classes and I don't know what to do. If I get the job I applied for I'll be living in another state so I definitely will have to do the online thing but I don't know yet because I just sent my resume off last week.

It's kind of scary because it's a real life job. Not a kid job. It's a grown-up job that I could do the rest of my life that pays a "salary" and not hourly. It's unbelievable. I could be in the workforce in only a few months. Scares the shit out of me.

My mom keeps talking about my graduation ceremony which also scares the crap out of me. First of all, I'm not the type that buys into gay stuff like graduation ceremonies and weddings. I think they are all a waste of money and time. That being said, my mom is convinced I will be attending my graduation ceremony, buying invitations and wearing a gown. I don't want to but whatever. I guess it's quite an accomplishment and I should graduate with honors if all goes well.

Well, that's my random jibberish for the day. I am really out there today so sorry for the babbling.

High School All Over Again

Isn't it hilarious how when you first start dating someone or like someone, you start to fix yourself up and actually get ready for class. I was thinking about this yesterday as I washed, blow dryed and curled my hair for class. Usually it goes in a ponytail and I wear a sweatshirts and sweatpants. Once again today I am decked out with my hair down and straightened.

It's funny that we feel the need to impress the guy and that us in our normal state isn't good enough. We wait for a month or two into the relationship before we yank out the sweats and tees. Shoot after I've been dating a guy for awhile I get dressed down for them!! When I'm going to see them, I change from my skirt or pants into sweats and a tee. It's ironic.

Finally got a halloween costume. My friend and I bought little boy costumes. They're hilarious. We wanted to be teenage mutant ninja turtles but the costumes weren't big enough. They gave us a permanent wedgie. So instead we're batman and spiderman. Watch out for us!! :)

Home Sweet Home

Last night while watching a friend in Beauty & the Beast play, there was a song that really struck a note with me. It was called Home is Where the Heart Is. It's took me awhile but I finally realize how true that is.

Home really is where the heart is. All growing up and until just today I've always said I would never go back home to where I grew up and no I probably won't ever live in the small town I was born and raised but as I grow older (ok so I'm only 21) I am starting to realive that going home might not be so bad (and by home i mean at least a half hour away!)

A lot of people have came and gone in my life. I've had best friends who now I could see on the street and not even acknowledge. I've had boyfriends who I don't even really know anymore. I've had acquaintances galore. Friends, boyfriends, husbands - they all come and go. The only thing that is real and permanent in our lives are our family.

So maybe Belle wasn't so wrong in Beauty & the Beast. Home is where the heart is and right now my heart is at home in my sleepy little town that I thought I would never come home to. Maybe I will expand my job serach after all...

The Apple Tree of Love

I loved this and had to pass it on...

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy... So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!

And... Men? Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the **** out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Love: A Verb or a Noun?

I gave a friend some advice about her relationship the other day. I told her the common cliche that goes something like this: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with.

After I told her I go to thinking, does anyone ever come back? Think about it. It's a reference to a butterfly. Would the butterfly ever really come back to find you? I don't think so...I think love works much the same way.

Everyone throws around the world love. Oh I love you. I love this. I love it. Blah blah blah. But does anyone ever use it to mean anything? 50 percent of people get divorced. Many more break up. Yea, it hurts for awhile. But then you get over it and you're like oh I don't think I ever really loved them. But at the time it felt so real.

In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" Liz talks about how "I believe in love the verb not the noun." But is love ever truly more than a word? Is love a real thing or just something that we all cling to so that we have something to hope for? Is love kind of like the belief in God? You want to believe but there's really no evidence it exists. Love: a verb or a noun? And will the butterfly ever come back?

Senior Year

My senior year of college is moving way too fast. I'm afraid if I blink it's going to pass me by and be all over. I can't even believe it. Although I don't actually graduate until May, I will be job hunting in December because I will only be taking 4 hours. So starting pretty much in January I will be entering the workforce for the rest of my life. I'm not going to lie - it's scary.

But for now I am concentrating on making this the best year ever. I have great friends, good friends and other friends who are making my year amazing. It seems like there's never a moment where someone isn't calling or coming by wanting me to do something with them. I haven't even had time to post and I always make time to post!

I think I've finally realized this year that a year from now this will all be over. Not that I'm going to be any different probably but my situation will be. I won't be going to college, partying all hours of the morning and doing the things that have become my way of life. It's all going to change. I have to make the most of it now while I still can.

It was kind of funny last night while I was at the bar. 3 or 4 couples walked in right in a row and I was like "whoa that looks boring. i'm glad i'm not them." Over the last month I have really embraced my freedom. I love being able to do what I want with who I want when I want to. I never realized how many really hot, great guys are out there but it turns out it's not as underpopulated as I thought.

Oh on a funny thought I can't believe I haven't posted on this yet!! I got proposed to on Sunday. Lol. I know what you're wondering...WHAT? I thought she was just talking about being single...and I am. This guy I know called me up and told me I was the most amazing girl he had ever met and wanted me to marry him. At first I thought he was just joking but he was dead serious. He had it all planned out. We'll get married in a year, have seven kids, blah blah blah. I was like WHAT THE F*CK??? No thanks. We're not even dating. Then he wanted to date me...and I was like no it's not going to happen.

None of my friends can believe that I am still single. They always ask who I'm seeing now and how's my love life. But the thing is that I really don't want anyone. Yea I like to hook up every now and then but I do that already so why would I need a boyfriend for it. I can't imagine having another boyfriend right now. I just don't want that. I think my wild side is going a little too crazy right now and I know I couldn't control myself. I have no desire to.

So that is the rundown of my senior year so far. It's going great and will hopefully only get better. I'm going to enjoy it for now and not worry about the future because I know it will take care of itself!

Where's the Drama, Where's the Anger??

It took days of moodiness and an episode of Sex & the City to finally figure out what it is that I am craving so much. DRAMA! I feed off it. I love it. I need it. And I haven't had any for almost a month now.

I wouldn't call myself a drama queen but I would say that I crave drama. I like to fight. I like to complain. I like to be mad. I like to make up. Lately I haven't had any of that.

You see that's kind of what a boyfriend is for. Not completely but partly. You fight. You make up. You get mad. You unmad. You take out all your bottled up agression on them. Without a boyfriend, who do you take it out on?

My friends aren't going to take my shit. Not that I blame them cuz I wouldn't take theirs. As a friend you don't have to put up with crap like that. You can only listen to so much complaining. So much moodiness. So much bitching before you get fed up. After all you have other friends you can hang out with until that friend gets over their crap. But other boyfriends/girlfriends? You only have one (well for most of anyways).

So finally after days of being pissy for no clear reason I finally figured it out. I have pent up aggression (combined with plenty of sexual frustration) and no outlet to explode in! What do I have to do to release all this aggression, bitchiness, moodiness (and sexual frustration) out? And don't tell me to buy a vibrator cuz that just don't cut it!

Change of Scenery

I am bored. Bored with doing the same old thing. Bored with school. Bored with everything. I need to shake things up. I need a change of scenery. I need to do something wild and crazy that I would never do. Something unpredictable to break me out of this mundane pattern I have fallen so easily into. Any ideas?

The Sun Has Come Out.

I'm feeling much better today. What a difference a day makes. It's like one day you feel like you're at the bottom of the world and the next you're on the top. I settled a lot of things I have been dealing with and now feel happy again, at peace.

It's almost like I had an epiphony overnight and everything is suddenly peachy again. It might be raining outside but to me it's all sunshine! I am going to bask in the glow for awhile and then promise to post again soon. Hope everyone else is having as wonderful of a day as me! :)

Shake It Off

Today is one of those days where I am in one of those crazy little funks that you just can't shake yourself out of. I layed in bed for an hour this morning before I could finally drag myself out of bed. And now that I'm out I don't really feel much better. My whole body hurts and I'm tired for no reason whatsoever.

I really need to do something crazy and out of the ordinary so that I can shake it off. Lately that song by I'm not sure who, Shake It Off, has been really been preaching to me. It really sings to what I'm feeling. I had a crazy idea to drive somewhere just for no reason at all just to get away and do something different. I'm bored with the same old thing.

But unfortunately I'm too good of a student and not about to skip class. So I did drag myself out of bed for another day, put on my clothes, did my homework, and now I am off for another day of spacing out, taking notes mindlessly and counting down the hours till I can come home.

6 hours and counting.....

True or False?

My horoscope for the month:

Myschievous mercury stirs up a new love interest for you this month. At first you think that you're not interested but you have to give him more of a chance than just one dinner date. He might just be that guy you've been waiting for.

My mom read me that last night. She thought it was just hilarious. Why she was reading my horoscope I don't know because we weren't born in the same month. She was like "See I told you that you should give him a chance."

I don't know that I 100 percent believe horoscopes most of the time, especially not daily ones but my monthly ones in magazines tend to be pretty close to right on what's happening in my life. So what if this is true? Should I really believe it? I did have a dinner date and thought that I wasn't interested so that was right on. Could he be the guy I've been waiting for?

I better check some other magazines to see what they have to say about my life this month. If all the stars point to yes, then I might just have to rethink my decision!! I'm a taurus so if you have a magazine for September with my horoscope in it by all means let me know what it says! I have to get my life figured out here.

Life sucks

I seriously hate my life right now. I seriously hate myself right now. The world sucks. Life sucks. Fuck it all.

The "NICE" Guy

Nice guys finish last. It's not just a saying - it's a fact. I'm living proof.

I have the perfect guy who likes me, took me on a date, calls me 10 times a day and would do anything I asked. So what's the problem? It's too much. As much as I might claim I do, I don't want a guy to call me 10 times a day. I don't want him to call when I tell him to. I don't want him to be willing to drop everything if I invited him over. I want to work for it. That's the whole thrill. The chase. It's what I live for. The "nice" guy kills it.

Why can't I like this nice guy? He's smart, he's funny, he's cool. He's got money. But me? I've got no interest. Sure, I talk to him. I"m polite. I go out with him on occasion. I'm nice. But he doesn't do it for me.

So my friends say I shouldn't lead him on but I can't help myself. I might like him in a month, two months, a year. I don't know. Why can't I make him hang around until I decide? Isn't it only polite to answer his calls and pretend to be interested? Or is that wrong? I don't know if I should quit answering or keep it going on just in case he really is that nice guy I've always been waiting to come along. What's the proper etiquette here? Keep the convos and "dating" up or end it now before he gets hurt?

Tailgating

It's that time of the year again. Football season. But frankly - football alone doesn't mean crap to me. It's the tailgating that has me jumping for joy. For those of you who aren't familiar with the concept of tailgating, you live such sad lifes. No just playing. But for real - tailgating is what us football fans like to call good food, good friends, and good LARGE amounts of alcohol.

Yes, that's right. Tailgating to me is drunken stupers, outrageous behavior, keg stands, beer bongs, mid-afternoon hangovers. Throw in a few burgers and hot dogs and one crazy game of football and you got yourself a party.

Today I got my football tickets. Hoorah! I actually plan on attending the games this year. Why? Because tailgating 3-6 hours before the game AND during the game then continuing to party throughout the night was just too much for this little girl. So instead I am using the game as a chance to sober up, let the beer soak in and take a break before I start chugging again.

I guess tailgating could be fun without alcohol. I'm sure many people tailgate without any Bud, Miller, or Coors but not me. I make sure I got plenty of alcohol, lots of fun friends and a safe place to party. Wouldn't want to get hit by a car or anything when I am laying on the ground passed out! No seriously - I hope I don't pass out but it's a large possibility. My alcohol tolerance isn't as high as it once was.

So now I tip my hat (even though I'm not wearing one) and raise a glass to the beginning of another great tailgating - oh and football - season. Let the games begin.

What's your favorite part of tailgating?

Who Knew??

I always thought that guys were only interested in you when you have a boyfriend. That has always been my luck in the past. Whenever I've had a boyfriend, guys have flocked to me, wanted to date me and told me they liked me. So I thought for sure now that I'm single I wouldn't have any guys come on to me..however, that hasn't been the case.

Who knew that my recent breakup would have so many guys jumping out of the woodwork. First of all, I had not one but TWO dates over the weekend. I only went on one and stood the other guy up. Yes, it was mean. I shouldn't have done it but I only had time for one date.

Besides the guys who have already asked me on a date I have also had multiple guys call me and tell me they like me and ask me to do something sometime or just messaging me wanting to go out with me. How weird is that??? Guys that I never even knew had any interest in me. It's been insane. I am so shocked by all of this sudden interest I don't even know how to respond most of the time.

The problem is that I have no desire to date. Going on my first date post-breakup made that crystal clear. I'm not interested in dating or having a boyfriend. Yes, the companionship would be great but I can get that just as easily from my friends. I don't want a man right now. I don't even want to date anybody. Hookup maybe - but date - no.

I think right now it's just important for me to have fun, enjoy my last year of college and go out with my friends single. That's all I want. I've had a boyfriend for way too long. Now it's time to concentrate on me and pamper myself. All that attention was just wasted on guys. It's time for a little TLC for good old Veeba. And I have plenty of it to give!

Sorry my blogs lately have been all over the place. I just have a lot of things going through my head and a lot of insanity all bottled up! I'm hoping my life calms down soon and I can get my focus back...until then bare with me! I love you all! :)

Can You Train a Bad Kisser??

Bad kissers...we've all experienced it. Sometimes it's the two of you together, sometimes maybe it's just you, other it's just clearly them. In this case it was them. My friends and I have been discussing the dilemma of kissing a bad kisser. What do you do?

It's awkward. You kiss for the first time and it's bad. You keep trying but no luck - it's still bad. So what do you do? Get up and walk away? Stick it out as bad as it sucks and just play along? What do you do when the guy you are kissing just can't kiss - or at least can't kiss you?

One friend said that you can train a bad kisser. But can you? And if you can wouldn't you first have to tell them they are a bad kisser? Excuse me but we need to talk. You see we have a problem. Well actually it's not that WE have a problem it's you. It's your kissing. Well, it sucks. You suck. It's horrible actually and we need to work on it. Now we all know that it would take a lot of balls to tell someone that and be completely humiliating for the person you're telling. The conversation would be filled with a lifetime of worry and embarassment with the person thinking "oh my god do they think i suck too?"

So what do you do then when the person is a bad kisser? Do you cut your losses and make a run for it? Do you stick it out trying desperately that they will come around and be a good kisser. Do you train them to kiss like you want to be kissed? If it's possible it might be kind of nice. "well, i really like it when you do this twirly thing so why don't you try that. give me 10 reps." Could be kind of fun.

Come on people my friends and I need your advice. Bad kisser: Trainable or a lost cause??

Summer Days Drifting Away...

Now that school's begun and summer is becoming a distant memory it got me thinking about the things I am going to miss most about the summer. Here they are
1) Swimming
2) Boating on the lake
3) The warm weather
4) Baseball games with $1 beers
5) No school
6) No homework
7) Freedom
8) Clubbing whatever night of the week I want - Tuesday hangovers kind of suck when you have class!
9) Outside bars that aren't fun when the weather turns cold
10) My tan - as pale as it might be it can only go downhill from here!

I could probably come up with more but those are the most important ones. But don't get me wrong there are definitely things I'm looking forward to too...
1) Football Games
2) Tailgating at football games - getting drunk at 10 a.m. is awesome!!
3) Not having to work 40 hours a week
4) Wearing my jeans again
5) Not having to shave my legs every day!
6) Sleeping in!!
7) Holidays - Labor Day being the closest!!

And to top it all off I am newly single so the fun is just beginning!!

Wow as much as I'm going to miss about summer I am really looking forward to fall and getting a little crazy!! Bring it on!

You Win, You Always Do

YOU WIN JOHNNY! I guess the odds were in your favor.