Independent. It’s something that I never thought I’d be. Throughout my life I have always been dependent on someone whether that be my parents, my sisters, my friends, or my boyfriends. I have never had any confidence in my ability to make it through the day on my own without any assistance from a friend or a boyfriend or my mom. I have relied on my dependence on others.
When I need to pay a bill, I call my mom. I don’t know how to do it. When I want to go shopping, I call a friend. I can’t go alone. When I want to hang out, I call my boyfriend. I don’t like to be by myself.
One of the aspects of my life I have always found myself dependent on was my boyfriend. I have always hated those girls who thought they constantly had to be with their boyfriend and couldn’t do anything without them but as time went on I found that I hated myself because I WAS one of those girls.
My friends would call to go out and I wouldn’t want to if my boyfriend was available to do something with me. Or if I was out with my friends all I could think about was getting home to my boyfriend. It was pathetic. I realized that. I just couldn’t help myself.
Lately I have been doing more and more with my friends and become less and less dependent on my boyfriend for my happiness. I have found that I can have a good time without him. Sometimes even a better time. I have found that my life doesn’t revolve around a man to make me happy. I can make myself happy.
In the past six months, I have attended more funerals that I have my entire life. One of a close friend, the other of an uncle. Seeing these people I used to know and love lying there in a casket cold and lifeless made me realize that life is too short to sit around and wait for someone or something. I might die tomorrow but I will die happy because at least I know I lived today.
So today, July 29, I am declaring VEEBA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY. The day when I realized that I, by myself, am more than enough to succeed and be happy in life. Anyone or anything else is just an added benefit! So today and every July 29 from here on out, I will raise a glass and make a toast to my independence.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Trust: Is it only for the optimistic?
Trust – it’s a hard thing to find inside yourself and inside your partner. My friend emailed me earlier this morning talking about how her and her boyfriend don’t fully trust each other. I told her to join the club. Everyone talks about how important trust is in a relationship but I don’t know a single person who fully trusts his or her partner. Much less fully trust themselves.
I think trust is something that comes as the relationship develops. This is a world full of divorce, full of infidelity, full of lies. With all the negative, it is hard to push it aside and only believe in the good in your partner.
Maybe you’ve trusted in the past and it’s bit you in the ass. Maybe it hasn’t. Maybe every relationship you’ve ever had has been perfect and you have no reason not to trust the other person. This is not the case for me and I’m sure it’s not the case for many of you.
I know myself yet I sometimes have a hard time even trusting myself. My current boyfriend is the only boyfriend I have never cheated on which I find to be quite an accomplishment and a real testament of how much I love him. But in the past I’ve told my partner to trust me, I’d never hurt them, there’s no reason not to believe me – I lied. I cheated, I lied, I went behind their back. Trusting me was the stupidest thing they ever could have done. So when my man is telling me to trust him, believe him, he wouldn’t cheat on me, how can I believe him?
How can anyone really trust someone else when they can’t fully trust themselves? I say sober I would never do anything but then I get drunk and that’s another story. People do things they wouldn’t normally do when they drink. They talk, they flirt, they often times hook up. The more you party without your man, the more your chances of cheating increase.
It’s not true that without full trust a relationship can’t work. No one ever has full trust in another person. Most people can’t even trust themselves. Trust has to be built on as a relationship progresses. He went out once without anything happening, twice without anything happening – maybe I really can trust him. Maybe I really can trust myself.
You can't be wondering what he's doing and he can't be wondering what you're doing all the time and always be suspicious of one another. You just have to put your full trust into that other person. Maybe it will bite you in the ass - you never know. But unless you put your full trust into someone the relationship can never work.
Do you think it’s smart to trust someone else when you know you can’t trust yourself? Do you think that everyone is destined to stray and that trust is impossible? Or do you trust and love with your whole heart hoping that you won’t be the one standing there looking stupid?
I think trust is something that comes as the relationship develops. This is a world full of divorce, full of infidelity, full of lies. With all the negative, it is hard to push it aside and only believe in the good in your partner.
Maybe you’ve trusted in the past and it’s bit you in the ass. Maybe it hasn’t. Maybe every relationship you’ve ever had has been perfect and you have no reason not to trust the other person. This is not the case for me and I’m sure it’s not the case for many of you.
I know myself yet I sometimes have a hard time even trusting myself. My current boyfriend is the only boyfriend I have never cheated on which I find to be quite an accomplishment and a real testament of how much I love him. But in the past I’ve told my partner to trust me, I’d never hurt them, there’s no reason not to believe me – I lied. I cheated, I lied, I went behind their back. Trusting me was the stupidest thing they ever could have done. So when my man is telling me to trust him, believe him, he wouldn’t cheat on me, how can I believe him?
How can anyone really trust someone else when they can’t fully trust themselves? I say sober I would never do anything but then I get drunk and that’s another story. People do things they wouldn’t normally do when they drink. They talk, they flirt, they often times hook up. The more you party without your man, the more your chances of cheating increase.
It’s not true that without full trust a relationship can’t work. No one ever has full trust in another person. Most people can’t even trust themselves. Trust has to be built on as a relationship progresses. He went out once without anything happening, twice without anything happening – maybe I really can trust him. Maybe I really can trust myself.
You can't be wondering what he's doing and he can't be wondering what you're doing all the time and always be suspicious of one another. You just have to put your full trust into that other person. Maybe it will bite you in the ass - you never know. But unless you put your full trust into someone the relationship can never work.
Do you think it’s smart to trust someone else when you know you can’t trust yourself? Do you think that everyone is destined to stray and that trust is impossible? Or do you trust and love with your whole heart hoping that you won’t be the one standing there looking stupid?
Scratching Away at True Happiness
I bought a lottery ticket this morning. I haven’t bought a lottery ticket in over a year. I used to be addicted. I’d scratch one, win $2, and go buy another one hoping for the opportunity to become a millionaire. It never happens.
I have dreamed my whole life of winning the lottery or finding a bag stashed with money or the bank making a huge error in my favor or some weird relative dying and leaving moolah. It hasn’t happened.
I continue to hope, I continue to scratch. I wasn’t a winner today but maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Then all my dreams could finally come true. People do win occasionally. Why couldn’t I be one of those people.
If I won a million dollars, I’m not sure what I’d do but I can tell you what I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t work. Hell no. I’d sit on my butt and enjoy every dollar of it. I think I would buy a big house in somewhere tropical by the ocean. I’d marry my handsome boyfriend and we’d live happily ever after. Or at least until the money ran out. I have a feeling it wouldn’t take long.
I don’t have anything major I want to do if I were to win a million dollars. I don’t want to buy a Cadillac, I don’t want to go on a shopping spree, I don’t want to buy much of anything. I just want to sit at home, not work, and live happily ever after. Am I shallow? What would you do if you won a $1 million?
I have dreamed my whole life of winning the lottery or finding a bag stashed with money or the bank making a huge error in my favor or some weird relative dying and leaving moolah. It hasn’t happened.
I continue to hope, I continue to scratch. I wasn’t a winner today but maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Then all my dreams could finally come true. People do win occasionally. Why couldn’t I be one of those people.
If I won a million dollars, I’m not sure what I’d do but I can tell you what I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t work. Hell no. I’d sit on my butt and enjoy every dollar of it. I think I would buy a big house in somewhere tropical by the ocean. I’d marry my handsome boyfriend and we’d live happily ever after. Or at least until the money ran out. I have a feeling it wouldn’t take long.
I don’t have anything major I want to do if I were to win a million dollars. I don’t want to buy a Cadillac, I don’t want to go on a shopping spree, I don’t want to buy much of anything. I just want to sit at home, not work, and live happily ever after. Am I shallow? What would you do if you won a $1 million?
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Moving Again - New Home, New Friends
I will be moving into my third apartment in that many years this weekend. As a single college student, I do the whole roommate thing for housing and once again for the third time I will be changing roommates.
I had always heard people say “Don’t live with your friends. You’ll hate them,” but I never believed it was true. My first year of college I lived in the dorms and had a randomly selected roommate. Her name was Liz. She was a little bit odd, what I would call a little bit gothic but we got along fine. We didn’t hang out much, but we co-existed just fine. The year went by without any problems or major fights. We both moved and I haven’t talked to her since.
My sophomore year of college I lived with a girl I had met during my freshman year. We weren’t really friends but we knew each other and talked somewhat often and felt like we had a lot in common. We signed a lease and moved in together. This was the worst roommate situation I had ever had. This girl who seemed super cool was actually a bitch in disguise. She would move my crap, tell me and my friends we were being too loud (even on weekend nights she went to bed super early), and claimed the covered spot “her spot” in the wintertime when it would snow. By this time, she was on my most hated list. When it came time to look for a place for the next year, I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to ask me if we were still living together. HELL NO.
So by this time my best friend was transferring to my school so her, my best friend from school, and I chose to move in together. We thought it’d be great. We hang out all the time anyways. Why wouldn’t we get along? We would never hate each other…WRONG! It’s not that we by any means hate each other. We are all still friends; it’s just that living together means that you are together 24/7, dealing with each other when they’re grouchy, moody, sad, whatever. We were going out together, staying home together, watching t.v. together, eating together, everything. It was too much. We started going on own ways and our friendship was seriously stressed. When it came time to resign the lease, we all opted to do our own thing.
Now I am moving in with new friends in a new place hoping that it won’t ring true again not to live with your friends or you’ll hate them. I am really excited about my new place and looking forward to a duplex instead of an apartment in more of a party area. I am good friends with one of my future roommates but I am just getting to know the other one. I feel like we’re all going to get along great.
So tell me do you think I’m just being optimistic in hoping that my new roommates and me get along well when it hasn’t been that way in the past? What advice do you have to make sure that we don’t end up at each other’s throat? And on another note, there are 3 rooms: one with its own bathroom, one big one, and one small one. How can I rig it so that I don’t get stuck with the little one???
I had always heard people say “Don’t live with your friends. You’ll hate them,” but I never believed it was true. My first year of college I lived in the dorms and had a randomly selected roommate. Her name was Liz. She was a little bit odd, what I would call a little bit gothic but we got along fine. We didn’t hang out much, but we co-existed just fine. The year went by without any problems or major fights. We both moved and I haven’t talked to her since.
My sophomore year of college I lived with a girl I had met during my freshman year. We weren’t really friends but we knew each other and talked somewhat often and felt like we had a lot in common. We signed a lease and moved in together. This was the worst roommate situation I had ever had. This girl who seemed super cool was actually a bitch in disguise. She would move my crap, tell me and my friends we were being too loud (even on weekend nights she went to bed super early), and claimed the covered spot “her spot” in the wintertime when it would snow. By this time, she was on my most hated list. When it came time to look for a place for the next year, I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to ask me if we were still living together. HELL NO.
So by this time my best friend was transferring to my school so her, my best friend from school, and I chose to move in together. We thought it’d be great. We hang out all the time anyways. Why wouldn’t we get along? We would never hate each other…WRONG! It’s not that we by any means hate each other. We are all still friends; it’s just that living together means that you are together 24/7, dealing with each other when they’re grouchy, moody, sad, whatever. We were going out together, staying home together, watching t.v. together, eating together, everything. It was too much. We started going on own ways and our friendship was seriously stressed. When it came time to resign the lease, we all opted to do our own thing.
Now I am moving in with new friends in a new place hoping that it won’t ring true again not to live with your friends or you’ll hate them. I am really excited about my new place and looking forward to a duplex instead of an apartment in more of a party area. I am good friends with one of my future roommates but I am just getting to know the other one. I feel like we’re all going to get along great.
So tell me do you think I’m just being optimistic in hoping that my new roommates and me get along well when it hasn’t been that way in the past? What advice do you have to make sure that we don’t end up at each other’s throat? And on another note, there are 3 rooms: one with its own bathroom, one big one, and one small one. How can I rig it so that I don’t get stuck with the little one???
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Work without Blogging
If you read Life With Allie and know that we work together, you already know what I'm about to tell you. Our office is in trouble for internet usage. A random check of employees in our office showed that we had over 20,000 hits to websites in less than 3 hours. Seems unreal. Luckily I was out of the office the day the check was conducted so can't be in any trouble.
The bad news, however, is that work will not be conducting random checks of people's computers to see if they are using the internet. This sucks because not only does it mean that I won't be blogging as often it also means I won't have jack shit to do at work. If they can't find work for me to do, at least let me use the internet. I can't twiddle my thumbs for 8 hours.
For all of you who are sad right now, don't be. This isn't the end of my blogging. Not in a million years. I am not scared of a little trouble. I am only an intern. I have only 12 days of work left. What's the worst that can happen? I get fired. Oh well. Then I can lay by the pool the rest of the summer. Awesome.
I just wanted to let all of my faithful fans out there know that the posts will be fewer. I won't post 15 times a day anymore, but don't worry - you can still count on at least 1-2! I am such a rebel. If the blogging ends, then you know that I'm caught and locked in the internet abuser prison. Oh no!
The bad news, however, is that work will not be conducting random checks of people's computers to see if they are using the internet. This sucks because not only does it mean that I won't be blogging as often it also means I won't have jack shit to do at work. If they can't find work for me to do, at least let me use the internet. I can't twiddle my thumbs for 8 hours.
For all of you who are sad right now, don't be. This isn't the end of my blogging. Not in a million years. I am not scared of a little trouble. I am only an intern. I have only 12 days of work left. What's the worst that can happen? I get fired. Oh well. Then I can lay by the pool the rest of the summer. Awesome.
I just wanted to let all of my faithful fans out there know that the posts will be fewer. I won't post 15 times a day anymore, but don't worry - you can still count on at least 1-2! I am such a rebel. If the blogging ends, then you know that I'm caught and locked in the internet abuser prison. Oh no!
Who Gets the Friends???
When two friends in a group date and then break up, who gets custody of the friends? This is our dilemma. I’ve wrote about my friends Bryan and Penny who broke up after over a year of dating. They had mutual friends before dating, while dating, and still now after dating. We all party as a group, go out as a group. She is my good friend as well as a good friend of my boyfriend. He is my boyfriend’s best friend.
Thursday night Penny, my boyfriend, and I along with a few other friends went to a local baseball game and then our Thursday night hot spot. I admit we did avoid telling Bryan where we were going. This is the second week in a row my boyfriend and I have avoided telling him where we’re going in order to avoid the awkward confrontation between Penny and Bryan. But it was too late…
Thursday night as we arrived at the bar a few of our other friends were pulling up. My boyfriend, Penny, and I were already slightly intoxicated as we marched up to the bar together so we are laughing and wave real big to the carload of our friends. In the backseat we see Bryan with a very displeased look on his face.
Despite our attempts at avoiding him, Penny and I ran smack dab into Bryan and another friend for the awkward confrontation. Bare in mind, this is the first time they have seen each other since breaking up. Awkward silence, small talk, oh we have to go. End of conversation.
Friday night apparently Bryan drunk dialed Penny. They got into a huge argument about: you guessed it – friends. Bryan complained because Penny was hanging out with “his friends” and now he couldn’t go to that club on Thursday nights or out them nights at all because of the awkward confrontation.
Bryan was mad because we were hanging out where we always hang out with the same people we always hang out with. It’s a sticky situation. It was a mutual breakup so no one really hurt the other so they should be able to be civil to one another.
My question is: Should they learn to co-mingle or does one person have to stay home to avoid the awkward confrontation? When two people break up and have mutual friends, who get custody of the friends? Do we need to work up a custody agreement? You get Lee on Friday-Wednesday. I get him on Thursday. Ricky’s yours today; mine tomorrow. How do we solve this?
Thursday night Penny, my boyfriend, and I along with a few other friends went to a local baseball game and then our Thursday night hot spot. I admit we did avoid telling Bryan where we were going. This is the second week in a row my boyfriend and I have avoided telling him where we’re going in order to avoid the awkward confrontation between Penny and Bryan. But it was too late…
Thursday night as we arrived at the bar a few of our other friends were pulling up. My boyfriend, Penny, and I were already slightly intoxicated as we marched up to the bar together so we are laughing and wave real big to the carload of our friends. In the backseat we see Bryan with a very displeased look on his face.
Despite our attempts at avoiding him, Penny and I ran smack dab into Bryan and another friend for the awkward confrontation. Bare in mind, this is the first time they have seen each other since breaking up. Awkward silence, small talk, oh we have to go. End of conversation.
Friday night apparently Bryan drunk dialed Penny. They got into a huge argument about: you guessed it – friends. Bryan complained because Penny was hanging out with “his friends” and now he couldn’t go to that club on Thursday nights or out them nights at all because of the awkward confrontation.
Bryan was mad because we were hanging out where we always hang out with the same people we always hang out with. It’s a sticky situation. It was a mutual breakup so no one really hurt the other so they should be able to be civil to one another.
My question is: Should they learn to co-mingle or does one person have to stay home to avoid the awkward confrontation? When two people break up and have mutual friends, who get custody of the friends? Do we need to work up a custody agreement? You get Lee on Friday-Wednesday. I get him on Thursday. Ricky’s yours today; mine tomorrow. How do we solve this?
Monday, July 25, 2005
Click
Girls like to bitch. Girls like to talk on the phone. Girls like to bitch on the phone. I like to bitch on the phone to my significant other. Sometimes he has enough. Yesterday I yelled at him for not using his time wisely so that he could spend time with me when I got home. After about 5 minutes of this, the phone went dead. He had hung up on me. I was pissed.
I didn't call him back for a few hours because I knew it would only lead to more bitching and another click. Instead I cooled off, called him back later, realized we were both in the wrong, and both of us apologized to each other. Problem solved.
Last night when we were talking I told him that it's a good thing we see each other often because our relationship wouldn't last over the phone. Being the classic boy that he is, he hates talking on the phone. It's part of being a man. Being the girl that I am, I love talking on the phone. We butt heads. I bitch, he hangs up.
I understand that sometimes I bitch a little excessively and it's very tempting when you're listening to it on the phone to hang up. Click, problem solved. But why don't guys understand that this pisses us girl off? If I was the one being bitched at, I would at least have the decency to sit and listen and not just hang up. That's not my style.
Why can't boys just appreciate that their girl misses them and wants to talk. Why do they always have to be a big grouch on the phone and barely carry on a conversation. And more importantly, why can't guys listen instead of hanging up on us? When is it just plain rude to hang up on your significant other or anyone for that matter? It pisses me off...
I didn't call him back for a few hours because I knew it would only lead to more bitching and another click. Instead I cooled off, called him back later, realized we were both in the wrong, and both of us apologized to each other. Problem solved.
Last night when we were talking I told him that it's a good thing we see each other often because our relationship wouldn't last over the phone. Being the classic boy that he is, he hates talking on the phone. It's part of being a man. Being the girl that I am, I love talking on the phone. We butt heads. I bitch, he hangs up.
I understand that sometimes I bitch a little excessively and it's very tempting when you're listening to it on the phone to hang up. Click, problem solved. But why don't guys understand that this pisses us girl off? If I was the one being bitched at, I would at least have the decency to sit and listen and not just hang up. That's not my style.
Why can't boys just appreciate that their girl misses them and wants to talk. Why do they always have to be a big grouch on the phone and barely carry on a conversation. And more importantly, why can't guys listen instead of hanging up on us? When is it just plain rude to hang up on your significant other or anyone for that matter? It pisses me off...
Denials and Lies
For those of you who checked my blog on Friday and noticed I never posted, I had a much needed day off to lounge in the sun. I am back at work today and back to posting. Here's a first look at today's celebrity headlines:
Usher is refuting a rumor that he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby. He is refuting rumors that his girlfriend Eisha Culbert has a bun in the oven. Only time will tell...
Sienna Miller is making it clear that she is no longer sporting her engagement ring. She returned to her play on Wednesday making a point of showing her ringless finger to the audience. Sadie Frost is offering her advice in a statement last week in the London Daily Mirror telling Sienna if she needs her advice to call her.
After winning his seventh Tour de France, Lance Armstrong is ready to move on. "I'm ready to move on," he told USA Today before the Tour's final stages. "I know in my heart of hearts that it is absolutely the right decision."
A lady posing as Jessica Simpson's assistant is in trouble. The New Jersey woman knew almost everything there was to know about Simpson and after setting up an email account in Jessica's assistant's name, solicitated businesses for free gifts. More than a couple companies took the bait. When police raided Handel's home they found jewelry from Reform, footwear from Frye, undergarments from Sweet Soul Design, and gifts from many other fashion, jewelry and cosmetics designers. Some of the vendors even included personalized notes to Simpson.
Now I have actually work to do but I promise to post later!
Usher is refuting a rumor that he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby. He is refuting rumors that his girlfriend Eisha Culbert has a bun in the oven. Only time will tell...
Sienna Miller is making it clear that she is no longer sporting her engagement ring. She returned to her play on Wednesday making a point of showing her ringless finger to the audience. Sadie Frost is offering her advice in a statement last week in the London Daily Mirror telling Sienna if she needs her advice to call her.
After winning his seventh Tour de France, Lance Armstrong is ready to move on. "I'm ready to move on," he told USA Today before the Tour's final stages. "I know in my heart of hearts that it is absolutely the right decision."
A lady posing as Jessica Simpson's assistant is in trouble. The New Jersey woman knew almost everything there was to know about Simpson and after setting up an email account in Jessica's assistant's name, solicitated businesses for free gifts. More than a couple companies took the bait. When police raided Handel's home they found jewelry from Reform, footwear from Frye, undergarments from Sweet Soul Design, and gifts from many other fashion, jewelry and cosmetics designers. Some of the vendors even included personalized notes to Simpson.
Now I have actually work to do but I promise to post later!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Drunk Texting
Wow, the advancement of technology has allowed us so many conveniences. The latest among many: text messaging. Text message is great. You can get your message across without having to actually talk to someone. Brilliant. There’s no fear of rejection, no need to chitchat. You can just get straight to the point. Enter drunk dialing.
Drunk dialing has long been a common practice – at least it has been for me. More so after a long night of drinking. I would have never landed my most recent boyfriend without drunk dialing. For those of you who are unfamiliar with drunk dialing this is how it works: You drink A LOT, then you want to hook up so you call one of you f*ck buddies. Me: Hey you want to have sex? Them: Sure. Me: Okay I’ll be right over. Quick and simple. And virtually painless unless they say no which is humiliating because now you have called this person and just made a fool out of yourself. Enter drunk texting.
Now with drunk texting we have all the conveniences of drunk dialing without any of the humiliation. My text message to him: Let’s have sex. Him: Nah I’m not in the mood. Me: Oops my bad. That message wasn’t intended for you. Sorry about that. Haha. Now he looks like the fool. Like I would actually want to hook up with him. That was intended for one of my other f*ck buddies. Yea, the joys of drunk texting.
My friend just got a loaner phone from her cell phone provider and obviously someone had borrowed it before because she found 2 loan text messages saved in it. The first said I want to have sex WITH U 2night. Okay as if it isn’t bad enough that you’re throwing yourself at the guy. You are having to also SPECIFY that you want to have sex with him. I think that’s clear by the fact that you text messaged him. Do you really need to clarify with who. Hey I want to have sex with your friend Joe tonight. Can you pass the text message along? Moron.
With the joys of drunk texting also comes the humiliation when you look through your phone and see all the retarded messages you send and what a fool you made of yourself. Drunk dialing is kind of scary so it takes a lot of courage to do it and you’re usually not going to keep bothering someone over and over. Drunk texting is a totally different story. I’m not afraid to text message over and over until I get the answer I want. Why not? I’m not actually having to face this guy? It’s like internet instant messaging. I could say anything.
The more I explore drunk texting the worse idea I think it is because at least with drunk dialing there’s no proof of what you said and what an idiot you made out of yourself. With drunk texting, he can show it to all his friends and make fun of me. Hmmm…
So which do you think is worse? Which is easiest? Drunk dialing or drunk texting? Do you do it and why do you do it? When is too much? One message, 2 messages, 10 messages? When does your horniness turn into craziness and you become a stalker?
Drunk dialing has long been a common practice – at least it has been for me. More so after a long night of drinking. I would have never landed my most recent boyfriend without drunk dialing. For those of you who are unfamiliar with drunk dialing this is how it works: You drink A LOT, then you want to hook up so you call one of you f*ck buddies. Me: Hey you want to have sex? Them: Sure. Me: Okay I’ll be right over. Quick and simple. And virtually painless unless they say no which is humiliating because now you have called this person and just made a fool out of yourself. Enter drunk texting.
Now with drunk texting we have all the conveniences of drunk dialing without any of the humiliation. My text message to him: Let’s have sex. Him: Nah I’m not in the mood. Me: Oops my bad. That message wasn’t intended for you. Sorry about that. Haha. Now he looks like the fool. Like I would actually want to hook up with him. That was intended for one of my other f*ck buddies. Yea, the joys of drunk texting.
My friend just got a loaner phone from her cell phone provider and obviously someone had borrowed it before because she found 2 loan text messages saved in it. The first said I want to have sex WITH U 2night. Okay as if it isn’t bad enough that you’re throwing yourself at the guy. You are having to also SPECIFY that you want to have sex with him. I think that’s clear by the fact that you text messaged him. Do you really need to clarify with who. Hey I want to have sex with your friend Joe tonight. Can you pass the text message along? Moron.
With the joys of drunk texting also comes the humiliation when you look through your phone and see all the retarded messages you send and what a fool you made of yourself. Drunk dialing is kind of scary so it takes a lot of courage to do it and you’re usually not going to keep bothering someone over and over. Drunk texting is a totally different story. I’m not afraid to text message over and over until I get the answer I want. Why not? I’m not actually having to face this guy? It’s like internet instant messaging. I could say anything.
The more I explore drunk texting the worse idea I think it is because at least with drunk dialing there’s no proof of what you said and what an idiot you made out of yourself. With drunk texting, he can show it to all his friends and make fun of me. Hmmm…
So which do you think is worse? Which is easiest? Drunk dialing or drunk texting? Do you do it and why do you do it? When is too much? One message, 2 messages, 10 messages? When does your horniness turn into craziness and you become a stalker?
Look at how Buff I am!
Why the hell are there mirrors posted all around the gym? I don't know about the rest of you but usually when I'm at the gym it's because I"m feeling especially chunky or gross or stressed and need to work it out. I don't want to look at my disgusting self in the process. I just gained 5 pounds don't make me LOOK at it.
Nonetheless, every gym I've ever been to has mirrors mounted everywhere so we can look at ourselves while we work out. Ah, aren't I pretty with my sweat stained armpits, matted hair, no makeup, and oversized gym clothes. I should really enter a beauty pageant...
I'm starting to think, however, that I might be in the minority about my pure hatred of the damn mirrors at the gym because everywhere I look people are using them. Not only are they using them, they are obsessed with them. We got our muscle builder in the corner lifting weights while glaring into the mirror as though he's trying to show the mirror the proper techinique for lifting that damn barbell. Wow, look at that muscle bulge. I'm glad he is because I sure don't give a damn about it. Then there's handfuls of other guys all around doing the exact same thing. Look at me look at me. I'm so buff!
Why the hell do you want to look at yourself when you're working out? There's nothing attractive about it. You don't look sexy with your veins pulsing out of your arm or gritting your teeth because you're lifting too much weight. There's nothing attractive about your sweaty armpits or nasty odor. As for my form, it looks like crap. I look like a total moron running on that treadmill. Hell, i don't even have time to look in the mirror because I have to concentrate on not falling off the stupid thing (and yes it has happened quite a few times).
So tell me..what's the deal with the mirrors at the gym? What's the affixation with watching yourself work out? Guys seem to be way worse than girls at this but do girls really do this too? Am I in the minority in wanting to smash every mirror in the place?
Nonetheless, every gym I've ever been to has mirrors mounted everywhere so we can look at ourselves while we work out. Ah, aren't I pretty with my sweat stained armpits, matted hair, no makeup, and oversized gym clothes. I should really enter a beauty pageant...
I'm starting to think, however, that I might be in the minority about my pure hatred of the damn mirrors at the gym because everywhere I look people are using them. Not only are they using them, they are obsessed with them. We got our muscle builder in the corner lifting weights while glaring into the mirror as though he's trying to show the mirror the proper techinique for lifting that damn barbell. Wow, look at that muscle bulge. I'm glad he is because I sure don't give a damn about it. Then there's handfuls of other guys all around doing the exact same thing. Look at me look at me. I'm so buff!
Why the hell do you want to look at yourself when you're working out? There's nothing attractive about it. You don't look sexy with your veins pulsing out of your arm or gritting your teeth because you're lifting too much weight. There's nothing attractive about your sweaty armpits or nasty odor. As for my form, it looks like crap. I look like a total moron running on that treadmill. Hell, i don't even have time to look in the mirror because I have to concentrate on not falling off the stupid thing (and yes it has happened quite a few times).
So tell me..what's the deal with the mirrors at the gym? What's the affixation with watching yourself work out? Guys seem to be way worse than girls at this but do girls really do this too? Am I in the minority in wanting to smash every mirror in the place?
He's a total tool...
You're a total tool. Who uses this word? My friend yesterday was talking about a guy who was a "tool." I've heard this word before but I've never known just exactly what it means to be a tool.
My one friend thought it meant that he was a dork, but why if it's just another word for a dork why don't we call the guy a dork? My other friend thought that in order to be a tool you have to be somewhat attractive and somewhat cool. I agreed more with her theory. I always thought a tool was someone who was somewhat popular and somewhat attractive but when you got to know him he was a total "tool" - meaning a combination of moron, idiot, ass, etc. etc.
I looked the word up in the dictionary but came up empty handed. It did define the slang tool that has become a part of our language. So then how do I know what it means? I just love saying the word. He sounds so hilarious. Hey, you're a tool! You're such a tool. What a tool! I proceeded to tell my boyfriend that he was a tool at least 10-20 times last night jokingly. Needless to say, he didn't find it too funny.
I kind of thought the word tool had gone out of style but has it made a comeback? Do you use the word? How do you use it? And what the hell does it really mean?
My one friend thought it meant that he was a dork, but why if it's just another word for a dork why don't we call the guy a dork? My other friend thought that in order to be a tool you have to be somewhat attractive and somewhat cool. I agreed more with her theory. I always thought a tool was someone who was somewhat popular and somewhat attractive but when you got to know him he was a total "tool" - meaning a combination of moron, idiot, ass, etc. etc.
I looked the word up in the dictionary but came up empty handed. It did define the slang tool that has become a part of our language. So then how do I know what it means? I just love saying the word. He sounds so hilarious. Hey, you're a tool! You're such a tool. What a tool! I proceeded to tell my boyfriend that he was a tool at least 10-20 times last night jokingly. Needless to say, he didn't find it too funny.
I kind of thought the word tool had gone out of style but has it made a comeback? Do you use the word? How do you use it? And what the hell does it really mean?
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Not Knowing's The Worse
Last night on Felicity (it's a t.v. show for those of you who don't know) Felicity was "late." She was afraid she might be pregnant but kept putting off taking the test afraid of what it might say. This got me thinking: why do us girls do that?
We know when our period is supposed to come and then when it's a day, two days, a week late, we freak out. Crazy thoughts start running through our head: oh my god I'm pregnant! How will I tell my parents? How will I tell my boyfriend? What am i going to do? How will I support it? We sit there freaking out contemplating all these choices we will have to make because we think we "might" be pregnant.
However, instead of doing what would be smart and going out, buying a pregnancy test, and taking it we instead sit there freaking out stressing that we're pregnant when all it takes is a little stick and a bathroom break to find out for sure. But do we do it? No, we're too scared because what if it is positive and all your worst fears are confirmed? Is it better to just think that you're pregnant?
It seems like such a stupid concept. Yes, it's very possible that stick might come back pink or with two lines or whatever shows up when it's positive and our worst fears are confirmed. THEN you can start freaking out. But what if it's negative. You're not pregnant. You can relax. No worries.
I have had several friends who have freaked out that they might be pregnant and sit there worrying about what they are going to do when what they should really be doing is running to the closest store, picking out a pregnancy test, and finding out the truth. Out of the 100s (okay that might be a bit of exaggeration) of times my friends (myself included) have worried they were pregnant it has always turned out to be a false alarm with us worrying ourselves over nothing. But we do it anyways.
So why is it that we'd rather sit there freaking out than find out for sure whether we are or aren't pregnant so we don't have to stress ourself out over nothing? Is it really better to worry and not know for sure then to have it confirmed that we are or aren't pregnant? I think I would rather know but then that's just me.
We know when our period is supposed to come and then when it's a day, two days, a week late, we freak out. Crazy thoughts start running through our head: oh my god I'm pregnant! How will I tell my parents? How will I tell my boyfriend? What am i going to do? How will I support it? We sit there freaking out contemplating all these choices we will have to make because we think we "might" be pregnant.
However, instead of doing what would be smart and going out, buying a pregnancy test, and taking it we instead sit there freaking out stressing that we're pregnant when all it takes is a little stick and a bathroom break to find out for sure. But do we do it? No, we're too scared because what if it is positive and all your worst fears are confirmed? Is it better to just think that you're pregnant?
It seems like such a stupid concept. Yes, it's very possible that stick might come back pink or with two lines or whatever shows up when it's positive and our worst fears are confirmed. THEN you can start freaking out. But what if it's negative. You're not pregnant. You can relax. No worries.
I have had several friends who have freaked out that they might be pregnant and sit there worrying about what they are going to do when what they should really be doing is running to the closest store, picking out a pregnancy test, and finding out the truth. Out of the 100s (okay that might be a bit of exaggeration) of times my friends (myself included) have worried they were pregnant it has always turned out to be a false alarm with us worrying ourselves over nothing. But we do it anyways.
So why is it that we'd rather sit there freaking out than find out for sure whether we are or aren't pregnant so we don't have to stress ourself out over nothing? Is it really better to worry and not know for sure then to have it confirmed that we are or aren't pregnant? I think I would rather know but then that's just me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Greenwheel Rocks!
Isn't it crazy how quickly you learn to like things that you never even knew about? For me, it's a little old band known as Greenwheel. A year ago, heck 6 months ago, I had never heard of them. Now they are my favorite band.
I got dragged to my first Greenwheel concert by my boyfriend when they came to a local nightclub. They are my boyfriend's favorite band. He is obsessed with them. He convinced me to go by telling me they sound a lot like my favorite band, 3 Doors Down. I was intrigued so I went. Why not? He was paying for my ticket...
So there I was at my first Greenwheel concert listening to a band that I've never heard while everyone around me is going crazy (we were right in front of the stage). There was mosh pitting, crowd surfing, and other craziness going on all around me. My boyfriend even knew all the words to their song. Me, I was just trying to listen. But by the end of the song I found myself drawn in and on the way home I too was singing the lyrics - although I didn't admit it to my boyfriend at the time.
A few months later my boyfriend got wind (okay so he reads their website everyday and that's how he found out - he's really not a total dork!) of them playing in St. Louis so we headed there for their concert. We took about 5 wrong turns and ended up in East St. Louis multiple times but my boyfriend refused to give up. He was going to that concert! So when we finally got there I was stressed and in no mood to listen to a band. But I was pleasantly surprised...
Greenwheel was even better than I had remembered. After months of listening to my burnt cd, I finally knew the words to some of their songs and actually sang along. I ran into lead singer, Ryan Jordan, while the opening band was on and my boyfriend thought he would have to wipe the drool from my face (Ryan, I'll marry you if you just ask!).
I realized after the concert that I had now been to more Greenwheel concerts than any other band (I've never even been to a 3 Doors Down concert) and I was regularly listening to their cd and checking their website. I too had become a Greenwheel groupie. How could this be???
I realized that the more time you spend with someone the more you are going to care about and like what they like. My boyfriend adored Greenwheel and now I too loved Greenwheel. Heck, I have their songs blaring right now out of my office cubicle.
Does anyone else have any new weird obsessions that they've picked out from someone else? If you want a new one, I suggest you check out the Greenwheel website. There you can play their latest stuff and listen to some old stuff (they even have a song on the Spiderman soundtrack.) Check it out so you can let me know if my taste in music sucks or if you too think they are even better than 3 Doors Down!
I got dragged to my first Greenwheel concert by my boyfriend when they came to a local nightclub. They are my boyfriend's favorite band. He is obsessed with them. He convinced me to go by telling me they sound a lot like my favorite band, 3 Doors Down. I was intrigued so I went. Why not? He was paying for my ticket...
So there I was at my first Greenwheel concert listening to a band that I've never heard while everyone around me is going crazy (we were right in front of the stage). There was mosh pitting, crowd surfing, and other craziness going on all around me. My boyfriend even knew all the words to their song. Me, I was just trying to listen. But by the end of the song I found myself drawn in and on the way home I too was singing the lyrics - although I didn't admit it to my boyfriend at the time.
A few months later my boyfriend got wind (okay so he reads their website everyday and that's how he found out - he's really not a total dork!) of them playing in St. Louis so we headed there for their concert. We took about 5 wrong turns and ended up in East St. Louis multiple times but my boyfriend refused to give up. He was going to that concert! So when we finally got there I was stressed and in no mood to listen to a band. But I was pleasantly surprised...
Greenwheel was even better than I had remembered. After months of listening to my burnt cd, I finally knew the words to some of their songs and actually sang along. I ran into lead singer, Ryan Jordan, while the opening band was on and my boyfriend thought he would have to wipe the drool from my face (Ryan, I'll marry you if you just ask!).
I realized after the concert that I had now been to more Greenwheel concerts than any other band (I've never even been to a 3 Doors Down concert) and I was regularly listening to their cd and checking their website. I too had become a Greenwheel groupie. How could this be???
I realized that the more time you spend with someone the more you are going to care about and like what they like. My boyfriend adored Greenwheel and now I too loved Greenwheel. Heck, I have their songs blaring right now out of my office cubicle.
Does anyone else have any new weird obsessions that they've picked out from someone else? If you want a new one, I suggest you check out the Greenwheel website. There you can play their latest stuff and listen to some old stuff (they even have a song on the Spiderman soundtrack.) Check it out so you can let me know if my taste in music sucks or if you too think they are even better than 3 Doors Down!
Boys and Their Toys
The story goes that Adam gave up one of his ribs for Eve and that's how women were created (yada yada - this might not be entirely correct. i haven't been to church for years but you get the gist of it). So how come if we are made from man's rib are we so freaking different?
First of all, I don't understand where the penis came from. Did they get the penis inducing rib or what? How come they got the penis while we got stuck with the boobs that add an extra 5 pounds to our weight because they are made entirely of fat? Second of all, what's up with the chromosomes? Was one rib home to the X chromosome while the other housed the Y chromosome? I don't get it.
But anyways..this post is about more than the obvious differences between guys and gals. One of the biggest ones is what we like to do. Why do boys like video games so damn much? Last night my boyfriend wanted to go home and play XBOX rather than hang out with me. Needless to say, I was pissed. What's so freaking fun about video games? Granted I occasionally enjoy a racing game or Tiger Woods golf but these boys they would play video games all day every day if they could. Me, hand me the controller for about 30 minutes and I'm spent. I just can't concentrate that long.
This brings me to another thought...why do guys care so much about their cars? My boyfriend's friend came over the other day to show us his car. His favorite attraction that he showed up only like 5 times in the 2 minutes we looked: the cupholder that comes out at the push of a button. Whoopdeedoo! Let's not forget the "Bose" speakers he pointed out 10,000 times. I don't give a damn. I don't understand why guys think their car is so pimp or why they waste so much money putting rims and speakers and other stupid crap on it. Me, give me a car that runs and looks nice and I'm perfectly happy. I don't care how many inches my rims are or how hard my speaker hits.
I think I could go on and on about this subject for the next month. I love boys, I just don't understand them. Why do boys care so much about their toys when girls don't give a damn? And how can the two sexes be so different when they're sharing a rib? I don't get it...
First of all, I don't understand where the penis came from. Did they get the penis inducing rib or what? How come they got the penis while we got stuck with the boobs that add an extra 5 pounds to our weight because they are made entirely of fat? Second of all, what's up with the chromosomes? Was one rib home to the X chromosome while the other housed the Y chromosome? I don't get it.
But anyways..this post is about more than the obvious differences between guys and gals. One of the biggest ones is what we like to do. Why do boys like video games so damn much? Last night my boyfriend wanted to go home and play XBOX rather than hang out with me. Needless to say, I was pissed. What's so freaking fun about video games? Granted I occasionally enjoy a racing game or Tiger Woods golf but these boys they would play video games all day every day if they could. Me, hand me the controller for about 30 minutes and I'm spent. I just can't concentrate that long.
This brings me to another thought...why do guys care so much about their cars? My boyfriend's friend came over the other day to show us his car. His favorite attraction that he showed up only like 5 times in the 2 minutes we looked: the cupholder that comes out at the push of a button. Whoopdeedoo! Let's not forget the "Bose" speakers he pointed out 10,000 times. I don't give a damn. I don't understand why guys think their car is so pimp or why they waste so much money putting rims and speakers and other stupid crap on it. Me, give me a car that runs and looks nice and I'm perfectly happy. I don't care how many inches my rims are or how hard my speaker hits.
I think I could go on and on about this subject for the next month. I love boys, I just don't understand them. Why do boys care so much about their toys when girls don't give a damn? And how can the two sexes be so different when they're sharing a rib? I don't get it...
Celebrity Humiliation and More
This week's Sunday Mirror reported that Jude Law had a steamy affair with his children's nanny in March while filming All the King's Men in New Orleans. In a statement that followed the story, Law expressed his "sincere regret" over the relationship, saying: "I am deeply ashamed and upset that I've hurt Sienna and the people most close to us. …There is no defense for my actions, which I sincerely regret and I ask that you respect our privacy at this very difficult time." Law's fiance, Sienna Miller, has remained quiet not commenting on the affair but her actions spoke louder than words as she showed up at her show with his flashy engagement ring missing from her left hand. She was poised while on stage although at times her voice appeared strained. After receiving a warm ovation during the curtain call, Miller smiled slightly and quickly wiped her face with both hands as she hurried off stage. Draped with a towel, she fled the theater without comment only minutes later.
Colin Farrell's bad boy image might get a little badder. He just might be following in Paris Hilton's footsteps. Colin Farrell has slapped a lawsuit on a former girlfriend, whom he accuses of trying to distribute and profit from an "intimate" sex tape the two recorded 2-1/2 years ago.
R&B star Ashanti testified in a civil case against her Monday in New York. The singer is accused of not paying her first music producer once she became successful.
Paris Hilton is facing a $10 millon slander lawsuit. Actress Zeta Graff, Hilton's fiance's ex, has filed a lawsuit against Hilton for slandering her in a leading newspaper. Graff filed a write last week after Hilton's publicist commented on a story from the New York Post, which claimed the 36-year-old had attacked the Simple Life TV beauty.
Geez you'd think with all their money they could stay out of trouble...
Colin Farrell's bad boy image might get a little badder. He just might be following in Paris Hilton's footsteps. Colin Farrell has slapped a lawsuit on a former girlfriend, whom he accuses of trying to distribute and profit from an "intimate" sex tape the two recorded 2-1/2 years ago.
R&B star Ashanti testified in a civil case against her Monday in New York. The singer is accused of not paying her first music producer once she became successful.
Paris Hilton is facing a $10 millon slander lawsuit. Actress Zeta Graff, Hilton's fiance's ex, has filed a lawsuit against Hilton for slandering her in a leading newspaper. Graff filed a write last week after Hilton's publicist commented on a story from the New York Post, which claimed the 36-year-old had attacked the Simple Life TV beauty.
Geez you'd think with all their money they could stay out of trouble...
Monday, July 18, 2005
I'm not five anymore...
This is my first summer living away from home. I am used to living away from home during the school year as I attend college but always in the past I went home to stay for the summer. This year I chose to stay at school instead of spending the summer bored out of my mind.
Even though I’m not living at home, I feel like I might as well be because of my mom’s constant ploys to get me home. It always seems like she plans some sort of event that I just “can’t miss.” A family meal, a holiday, a boating outing, a shopping trip, etc. etc. – the list goes on. It seems like it’s always something.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love my mom. I love my whole family. I love going home. I just don’t want to do it every freaking weekend. When you spend the week working and the weekend making the two-hour trek home to spend with family, it doesn’t leave you much time for yourself.
Not only does it not leave me much time for myself, it’s annoying. There’s only so much I can take. I live on my own. I’m not use to having to tell someone where I’m going or when or IF I’ll be home. My mom bombards me with these questions when I head towards the door. Where are you going? What are you doing there? Are you coming home? What time will you come home? And my favorite question: What is the plan? Mom, I told you the plan 500 times. You just don’t want to listen because you don’t like the plan.
Yesterday after a very trying weekend of questions like these and comments like “I’ll be back in a little bit..not that you care,” “You haven’t been home all weekend,” “You’re too busy for me,” we had it out during a trip to Wal-Mart. She crossed the line one too many times for me and I snapped. I yelled at her and used a word I am not proud of – it rhymes with sucking. She yelled at me, I yelled back. We refused to speak the rest of the day and I left home to go back to school. I was ticked.
It’s not unusual for my mom and me to have little tiffs like this one although the fallout doesn’t usually last too long – I called her when I got home and apologized, she apologized. I just really hate fighting with people especially my mom.
My friend sent me an email earlier in the week about a fight she got into with her mom after she pissed her off which got me thinking: Why are moms so good at pissing us off? What do they have to take some kind of class on the best way to piss their daughters off? Or is it just a skill that comes with birthing your first child? Why can’t they just leave well enough alone?
Even though I’m not living at home, I feel like I might as well be because of my mom’s constant ploys to get me home. It always seems like she plans some sort of event that I just “can’t miss.” A family meal, a holiday, a boating outing, a shopping trip, etc. etc. – the list goes on. It seems like it’s always something.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love my mom. I love my whole family. I love going home. I just don’t want to do it every freaking weekend. When you spend the week working and the weekend making the two-hour trek home to spend with family, it doesn’t leave you much time for yourself.
Not only does it not leave me much time for myself, it’s annoying. There’s only so much I can take. I live on my own. I’m not use to having to tell someone where I’m going or when or IF I’ll be home. My mom bombards me with these questions when I head towards the door. Where are you going? What are you doing there? Are you coming home? What time will you come home? And my favorite question: What is the plan? Mom, I told you the plan 500 times. You just don’t want to listen because you don’t like the plan.
Yesterday after a very trying weekend of questions like these and comments like “I’ll be back in a little bit..not that you care,” “You haven’t been home all weekend,” “You’re too busy for me,” we had it out during a trip to Wal-Mart. She crossed the line one too many times for me and I snapped. I yelled at her and used a word I am not proud of – it rhymes with sucking. She yelled at me, I yelled back. We refused to speak the rest of the day and I left home to go back to school. I was ticked.
It’s not unusual for my mom and me to have little tiffs like this one although the fallout doesn’t usually last too long – I called her when I got home and apologized, she apologized. I just really hate fighting with people especially my mom.
My friend sent me an email earlier in the week about a fight she got into with her mom after she pissed her off which got me thinking: Why are moms so good at pissing us off? What do they have to take some kind of class on the best way to piss their daughters off? Or is it just a skill that comes with birthing your first child? Why can’t they just leave well enough alone?
And you want to live here for how long?
Playing bachelorette games with a bar full of 50 year old guys missing teeth is not a good idea. First off, it’s gross to have to pinch a fat guy’s butt and tell him “You have a nice ass.” It’s hard to find a guy who can give you a piggy back ride when he can’t even stand up straight. It’s not easy to get a guy to take his shirt off when he’s wearing overalls. And most importantly, it’s gross to have to kiss a guy missing all his teeth.
My friend’s final fling before the ring was filled with fun, games, alcohol, girl talk, and more alcohol. The craziness started before I was good and in the door at my friend’s house as they were all waiting for me and read to go to the bar at only 7 p.m. I didn’t even know the bars opened before at least 10! Since the wonderful county fair was in the neighboring town, we weren’t surprised to find the bar deserted but we grabbed us a booth anyways.
The great thing about small towns is that everyone knows everyone. The bartender hung up balloons, gave us bachelorette party napkins and a game to play, and started making jello shots (later to be given to us for free). This is all great except when you want to leave and feel guilty about leaving her after she was so nice to you.
First of all, I don’t think that the tasks I made for my friend were anywhere near hard enough because she finished them in a snap. She got a guy to moon her (don’t worry – we got pics), she got not one but TWO guy’s boxers, she got 5 guys’ philosophy on marriage (you’re nuts, don’t do it, it sucks, marry me, sex ends), she chugged a beer with her buds, she actually convinced a guy she was a virgin (yea we can’t believe this either) and did several other tasks. We were impressed by how quickly she completed it making us think we were way too easy on her. She has already warned me that I better be ready when I get married because she will have it in for me. Shit.
By 10, we were all smashed. We kept downing beers, shooting shots, ordering new drinks, and chugging away. Before 11, my friend was on the table dancing – alone. Guys were shoving money everywhere from down her cleavage to down her pants – one guy even used his mouth (he was also the guy missing all but two teeth). By the end of the night she had collected almost $20. Not bad for a night at a podunk beer with the guys in the overalls.
The night didn’t get quite as out of hand as I would have liked (probably because no one else ever came to the bar the whole night) but it was fun none the less. Three friends from the Ice Age reunited for one last night of fun and partying while reminiscing about the good old days. Okay so we’re not that old – 22, 21, and 20 but still – we might as well have been because it had been ions since the three of us had all joined together for a night of partying. Throw in a few new friends and you have a night of fun and some memories that will last (many that were caught on film).
For those of you who suggested we not take pictures for our friends sake, we did. We took many pictures. Pictures of naked asses, tabletop dancing, piggyback rides, and ass grabbing. The night wouldn’t have been complete without a few photos to keep in the blackmail file. Who knows when I might need to pull them out and put them to good use. The fun never ends…
My friend’s final fling before the ring was filled with fun, games, alcohol, girl talk, and more alcohol. The craziness started before I was good and in the door at my friend’s house as they were all waiting for me and read to go to the bar at only 7 p.m. I didn’t even know the bars opened before at least 10! Since the wonderful county fair was in the neighboring town, we weren’t surprised to find the bar deserted but we grabbed us a booth anyways.
The great thing about small towns is that everyone knows everyone. The bartender hung up balloons, gave us bachelorette party napkins and a game to play, and started making jello shots (later to be given to us for free). This is all great except when you want to leave and feel guilty about leaving her after she was so nice to you.
First of all, I don’t think that the tasks I made for my friend were anywhere near hard enough because she finished them in a snap. She got a guy to moon her (don’t worry – we got pics), she got not one but TWO guy’s boxers, she got 5 guys’ philosophy on marriage (you’re nuts, don’t do it, it sucks, marry me, sex ends), she chugged a beer with her buds, she actually convinced a guy she was a virgin (yea we can’t believe this either) and did several other tasks. We were impressed by how quickly she completed it making us think we were way too easy on her. She has already warned me that I better be ready when I get married because she will have it in for me. Shit.
By 10, we were all smashed. We kept downing beers, shooting shots, ordering new drinks, and chugging away. Before 11, my friend was on the table dancing – alone. Guys were shoving money everywhere from down her cleavage to down her pants – one guy even used his mouth (he was also the guy missing all but two teeth). By the end of the night she had collected almost $20. Not bad for a night at a podunk beer with the guys in the overalls.
The night didn’t get quite as out of hand as I would have liked (probably because no one else ever came to the bar the whole night) but it was fun none the less. Three friends from the Ice Age reunited for one last night of fun and partying while reminiscing about the good old days. Okay so we’re not that old – 22, 21, and 20 but still – we might as well have been because it had been ions since the three of us had all joined together for a night of partying. Throw in a few new friends and you have a night of fun and some memories that will last (many that were caught on film).
For those of you who suggested we not take pictures for our friends sake, we did. We took many pictures. Pictures of naked asses, tabletop dancing, piggyback rides, and ass grabbing. The night wouldn’t have been complete without a few photos to keep in the blackmail file. Who knows when I might need to pull them out and put them to good use. The fun never ends…
Engagement Nausea
Remember the Sex & the City episode where Aidan proposed to Carrie and she pukes? Not because she didn't love Aidan but because the thought of marriage scared the sh*t out of her. I am Carrie.
I went home for my friend's bachelorette party this weekend. On Saturday as we were getting ready to go out, my married friend and engaged friends exchanged their engagement rings to try on. Then they passed it to me to try on. Not even thinking about it, I tried it on. Thank god I was sitting because I started to shake. Then my stomach started to hurt. I took it off - fast. Then my other friend hands me hers. Thinking it's just a one time thing I try hers on. My stomach turns. I yank it off.
Now this is not the first time this has happened to me. One other time while just nonchalantly shopping for engagement rings (not because I was thinking about getting engaged but rather in order to get my parking validated) a salesperson pushed me into trying one on. Once again my hand began to shake and my stomach hurt. I rushed out of the store feeling as though I would hurl at any moment.
I am in commited relationship. I love my boyfriend very much and look forward very much to one day being married to him. We have even talked about being married without me freaking out or getting sick. I had no problem discussing it. I have no problem talking about being engaged. It's the sight of the sparkling diamond that gets me weak in the knees.
What is it about that shiny rock that make me want to rush to the nearest bathroom? Am I being overly dramatic or is there cause for concern when it comes to my engagement phobia? Does the glare of the diamond go straight to my head and put me in a comatose state or am I just scared? Am I the only girl out there who gets sick at the mere sight of an engagement ring?
I went home for my friend's bachelorette party this weekend. On Saturday as we were getting ready to go out, my married friend and engaged friends exchanged their engagement rings to try on. Then they passed it to me to try on. Not even thinking about it, I tried it on. Thank god I was sitting because I started to shake. Then my stomach started to hurt. I took it off - fast. Then my other friend hands me hers. Thinking it's just a one time thing I try hers on. My stomach turns. I yank it off.
Now this is not the first time this has happened to me. One other time while just nonchalantly shopping for engagement rings (not because I was thinking about getting engaged but rather in order to get my parking validated) a salesperson pushed me into trying one on. Once again my hand began to shake and my stomach hurt. I rushed out of the store feeling as though I would hurl at any moment.
I am in commited relationship. I love my boyfriend very much and look forward very much to one day being married to him. We have even talked about being married without me freaking out or getting sick. I had no problem discussing it. I have no problem talking about being engaged. It's the sight of the sparkling diamond that gets me weak in the knees.
What is it about that shiny rock that make me want to rush to the nearest bathroom? Am I being overly dramatic or is there cause for concern when it comes to my engagement phobia? Does the glare of the diamond go straight to my head and put me in a comatose state or am I just scared? Am I the only girl out there who gets sick at the mere sight of an engagement ring?
Another Surprise Celebrity Wedding...
Friends and family of Sandra Bullock thought they were attending Bullock's birthday celebration but got quite the surprise on Saturday. Actress Sandra Bullock surprised guests by marrying mechanic and reality TV star Jesse James at a ranch near Santa Barbara.
Angelina Jolie will finally bring her baby home.The Oscar winner's newly adopted baby, Zahara, was released Friday from an undisclosed New York hospital after spending a week there being treated for dehydration and malnutrition.
Eminem is headed for early retirement according to a report on Friday in his hometown newspaper.Citing sources close to the platinum-selling hip-hop star, the Detroit Free Press says the real Slim Shady will play his last concert in Dublin on Sept. 17.
That's all for this morning folks although I wouldn't be surprised if there's more celebrity gossip to report on later today.
Angelina Jolie will finally bring her baby home.The Oscar winner's newly adopted baby, Zahara, was released Friday from an undisclosed New York hospital after spending a week there being treated for dehydration and malnutrition.
Eminem is headed for early retirement according to a report on Friday in his hometown newspaper.Citing sources close to the platinum-selling hip-hop star, the Detroit Free Press says the real Slim Shady will play his last concert in Dublin on Sept. 17.
That's all for this morning folks although I wouldn't be surprised if there's more celebrity gossip to report on later today.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Stupid People
Okay I’m really bored at work today so I'm going post again but please please please don't stop posting on today's earlier entry: The "TURTLE". The response has been tremendous and I'm loving hearing from both guys and gals about their "turtle" positions and their take on them. Keep it up!
First things first, people who honk at me PISS ME OFF. So what if I'm driving into your lane. Who cares if I'm about to back my car into you? I know that I just cut you off but DO NOT HONK AT ME. Today on my lunch break, my friend Allie and I headed to the local Mexican restaurant and had a quick meal then loaded back up in my car to head back in the office. As I start to pull of, a silver car was slowly creeping behind me. The driver was most likely in her upper 50s. Now I am in a hurry because my lunch break has been over for 15 minutes and I'm already going to sneak into my office so I start slowly creeping back towards her car fully LOOKING and SEEING her with absolutely NO intention of backing into her car. She honks. I yell. "I see you, you f***ing b*tch." Now I didn't mean to be rude and the lady smiled and waved afterwards and was very nice about having honked (probably because I was fully ready to get out of my car and kick her ass) but I couldn't help myself. You honk, I cuss. I get mad. I yell. I sometimes (i'm ashamed to say this) give them the birdie. Yes, I am one of those. I can't help it. It just really pisses me off when people honk at me. If I'm 2 inches from hitting your car, yes then honk. Still 10 feet, leave well enough alone. Enough said.
I do not have kids (you're probably praising the lord right now - this crazy doesn't have any kids!). But I hope, I pray that when I do have kids I will consider their name and make sure it's not something dirty before I name them and that they can't be given any humiliating nicknames from this name. I heard on the radio about two dumbass parents who didn't give their kid this consideration. Are you ready for this? They named their kid...(drum roll please) Drew Peacock. (i'll give you a second here. say it again. it took me 3 times). Now for those of you who STILL don't see anything wrong with this, let me break it down to you. Say it quick and you have DROOPY COCK. Oh lord. This kid has a long road in front of him. The sadder thing...his parents didn't notice until his 1st birthday. Come on. I mean, really?
I want to give a shout out to missfortune hunter who was kind enough to show me how to link to other people's blogs so you can find some fun ones. For those of you who are as bored at work every day as I am, this novelty is a godsend. Thanks missfortunehunter!
Okay, so I can't promise this will be my last entry for the day because unless I grow some balls and ask if I can get off early I'm here till four with nothing to do. If a lightning bolt hits me with some kind of brilliance I will post more later. If not, have a great weekend and please please please don't quit posting on the turtle because I love it!
First things first, people who honk at me PISS ME OFF. So what if I'm driving into your lane. Who cares if I'm about to back my car into you? I know that I just cut you off but DO NOT HONK AT ME. Today on my lunch break, my friend Allie and I headed to the local Mexican restaurant and had a quick meal then loaded back up in my car to head back in the office. As I start to pull of, a silver car was slowly creeping behind me. The driver was most likely in her upper 50s. Now I am in a hurry because my lunch break has been over for 15 minutes and I'm already going to sneak into my office so I start slowly creeping back towards her car fully LOOKING and SEEING her with absolutely NO intention of backing into her car. She honks. I yell. "I see you, you f***ing b*tch." Now I didn't mean to be rude and the lady smiled and waved afterwards and was very nice about having honked (probably because I was fully ready to get out of my car and kick her ass) but I couldn't help myself. You honk, I cuss. I get mad. I yell. I sometimes (i'm ashamed to say this) give them the birdie. Yes, I am one of those. I can't help it. It just really pisses me off when people honk at me. If I'm 2 inches from hitting your car, yes then honk. Still 10 feet, leave well enough alone. Enough said.
I do not have kids (you're probably praising the lord right now - this crazy doesn't have any kids!). But I hope, I pray that when I do have kids I will consider their name and make sure it's not something dirty before I name them and that they can't be given any humiliating nicknames from this name. I heard on the radio about two dumbass parents who didn't give their kid this consideration. Are you ready for this? They named their kid...(drum roll please) Drew Peacock. (i'll give you a second here. say it again. it took me 3 times). Now for those of you who STILL don't see anything wrong with this, let me break it down to you. Say it quick and you have DROOPY COCK. Oh lord. This kid has a long road in front of him. The sadder thing...his parents didn't notice until his 1st birthday. Come on. I mean, really?
I want to give a shout out to missfortune hunter who was kind enough to show me how to link to other people's blogs so you can find some fun ones. For those of you who are as bored at work every day as I am, this novelty is a godsend. Thanks missfortunehunter!
Okay, so I can't promise this will be my last entry for the day because unless I grow some balls and ask if I can get off early I'm here till four with nothing to do. If a lightning bolt hits me with some kind of brilliance I will post more later. If not, have a great weekend and please please please don't quit posting on the turtle because I love it!
Friday's Celebrity Scoop
Have no fear..the weekend is here and I won't leave you in the lurch for the celebrity gossip. You'll thank me later.
First off, Emmy nominations were announced yesterday. Desperate Housewives and Will & Grace each came in with 15 nominations each for the 57th annual primetime Emmy awards. Not a surprise at all. Lost also had quite a few. HBO had the most nominations of any network with 93.
Brad Pitt checking out of Los Angeles' Cedars Sinai Medical Center Wednesday, two days after being admitted for "flu-like symptoms" that turned out to be viral meningitis. His publicist says Pitt is "doing well" resting up at home.
Cameron Diaz testifies today that she never signed a release form for a photographer who's on trial for forging the actress' singnature. John Rutter faces up to six years in prison if convicted.
Christian Slater, who was accused of groping a lady on the street, refuses to sign a plea deal. Slater was charged after he allegedly walked up behind a woman and grabbed her butt as she was buying a soda in a small grocery store on Manhattan's Upper East Side in the early morning of May 31.
Nicole Richie will be adding novelist to her already large resume. She will be penning a novel loosely based on her not so "Simple Life". Rock & Royalty is the tale of society princess Chloe Parker. Richie, the daughter of soul legend Lionel Richie, admits she didn't have to do too much research for the project: "I would think about things that I have experienced and just twist it down and make them more exciting or a little less exciting."
Lindsay Lohan isn't as famous as she thinks. Brad Pitt didn't recognize the star at an award show. Lohan ran up and hugged him and told him, "You're movie's going to kill mine." Pitt turned to someone and had to ask who she was. Pitt's not alone. Apparently the 80 year old director of her latest movie doesn't even know her name. According to snitches on the set, he calls her Lindsay Loman. He'll come over the loudspeaker and say, "Lindsay Loman please report to the set." Now that's a blow to the ego.
Unfortunately, I don't have any hookups or breakups to report on but soon, my friends. A weekend is the perfect time...
First off, Emmy nominations were announced yesterday. Desperate Housewives and Will & Grace each came in with 15 nominations each for the 57th annual primetime Emmy awards. Not a surprise at all. Lost also had quite a few. HBO had the most nominations of any network with 93.
Brad Pitt checking out of Los Angeles' Cedars Sinai Medical Center Wednesday, two days after being admitted for "flu-like symptoms" that turned out to be viral meningitis. His publicist says Pitt is "doing well" resting up at home.
Cameron Diaz testifies today that she never signed a release form for a photographer who's on trial for forging the actress' singnature. John Rutter faces up to six years in prison if convicted.
Christian Slater, who was accused of groping a lady on the street, refuses to sign a plea deal. Slater was charged after he allegedly walked up behind a woman and grabbed her butt as she was buying a soda in a small grocery store on Manhattan's Upper East Side in the early morning of May 31.
Nicole Richie will be adding novelist to her already large resume. She will be penning a novel loosely based on her not so "Simple Life". Rock & Royalty is the tale of society princess Chloe Parker. Richie, the daughter of soul legend Lionel Richie, admits she didn't have to do too much research for the project: "I would think about things that I have experienced and just twist it down and make them more exciting or a little less exciting."
Lindsay Lohan isn't as famous as she thinks. Brad Pitt didn't recognize the star at an award show. Lohan ran up and hugged him and told him, "You're movie's going to kill mine." Pitt turned to someone and had to ask who she was. Pitt's not alone. Apparently the 80 year old director of her latest movie doesn't even know her name. According to snitches on the set, he calls her Lindsay Loman. He'll come over the loudspeaker and say, "Lindsay Loman please report to the set." Now that's a blow to the ego.
Unfortunately, I don't have any hookups or breakups to report on but soon, my friends. A weekend is the perfect time...
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Random Facts...A conversation starter
I love random facts. I use them all the time. They're great. They are perfect to throw in to win an argument or great for a conversation starter at a party. Below are some fun, interesting totally random facts:
- The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." (my eyes screeched to a stop when i read this one)
- All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. (why not 11 p.m. or 1 a.m.?)
- The first Ford cars had Dodge engines. (next time someone says that Fords are better than Dodges you have something to throw in their face!)
- Ingrown toenails are hereditary. (what the fuck? damn it dad)
- The most common name in the world is Mohammed. (and here I thought it was mary)
- The state with the longest coastline in the US is Michigan. (i'm having a hard time believing this one)
- If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom. (i always wondered why i always called tails. now i know it's cuz i'm smart!)
- The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. (attention spelling bee 2006 judges: see if those smarty pants can spell this one!)
- When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city. (can we say HICKS??)
- No word in the English language rhymes with month. (perfect for circle of death..you drinkers know what i'm talking about!)
- Wayne's World was filmed in two weeks. (Wow them boys are gooooooddd)
- "Ever think you're hearing something in a song, but they're really singing something else? The word for mis-heard lyrics is 'mondegreen,' and it comes from a folk song in the '50's. The singer was actually singing "They slew the Earl of Morray and laid him on the green," but this came off sounding like 'They slew the Earl of Morray and Lady Mondegreen.'" (Okay so this one is boring for most of you but my boyfriend is going to love it: you see i have a little problem with singing the right words to songs. that problem is that i don't!)
Hope that these facts can be of some interest to you. I plan on running right out to show everyone how smart I am. LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME.
Saddle up - The Fair's in Town!
I am from a small town. Now I hear people say this all the time and then they're like, "Yea I only graduated with 100 people." WHAT? 100? Shit, that's huge. No, when I say small I do mean small. I graduated with 17 people. Yea, you heard it right 17. And that was big since we started kindergarten with only 12. I go to a large university now with over 25,000 students. When people ask where I'm from, they have no idea where my town is or that it even exists. When I tell them it's small, they have no idea just how small I mean. To make sure they get the full effect of just how small my town is I tell them 200 but only if you count the dogs too. They laugh. They don't realize that I'm serious.
When you live in a small town, not a lot happens. That's why when something big comes to town, it's not big, it's huge. Gigantic. That brings us to the county fair. The highlight of the summer where I'm from. This is an annual event that takes place every August in our county seat. We love it. We wouldn't miss it. We plan our vacations around the week. A week when the world stops spinning because "Oh my god the county fair's in town!'
But what's so great about the county fair? It kicks off every year with the annual queen pageant. Now, I love the queen pageant. I haven't missed one for as long as I can remember. Whoever wins the queen pageant reigns over the fair for the rest of the week. Now this lady has some pretty large responsibilities. First of all, she has to hand out ribbons for the cattle show. She has to take pictures with the little kids in the pedal powered tractor pull and if she's really lucky, she sings the national anthem before the demolition derby. Wow, look over there, it's the fair queen. Can we get your autograph?
We can't truly talk about a county fair until we talk about the carnival. Spinning rides, ticket booths, cotton candy stands, and most importantly – carnies. We all know to steer clear of the carnies. I have never heard a person brag about hooking up with or hanging out with a carnie. Why? Because they are gross. I swear it must be a requirement to missing teeth before you can become a carnie. At the job interview: Man #1 – Can you please smile for me? Man #2 smiles. Man #1 – Oh I'm sorry you have a mouthful of teeth. NEXT.
If it isn't bad enough that you have to look at these carnies, they think that they need to hit on you as well. "Step right this way pretty lady. I need to get you a teddy bear." No, thanks. I don't know where those teddy bears have been. One of my worst carnival experiences was riding the Gravitron. Now this is a ride where you lay against a seat and it spins around as the gravity moves you back and forth. Okay so I am laying against the seat, a little scared of this ride anyways when the carnie proceeds to tell me (now bear in mind that this is a ONE-ARMED carnie) – He tells me not to hold on to the seats or you might just lose an arm. AHHHHHHHHHHH. Can I get off please??????????
Last year I had a horrible time the first night at the fair. I was bored out of my mind. Did I go back? Of course. I went back every night. The fair was in town. Anyone who was anyone was going to be there. Why is it that we feel it necessary to make a huge deal out of an event that isn't really that fun after the age of 10? What is it about a county fair that makes it so great that we can't seem to stay away?
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Clingy Bitches and Insensitive Jerks
I am going to make a startling confession here - one most women are too scared (or maybe smart) to admit: I am a clingy bitch. Yes, I said it. GASP. I'm man (or I guess I should say) woman enough to say it.
I am a 100 percent authentic super bitch. Just ask my boyfriend. He'll tell you it's true. He puts up with my constant bitchin. Why am I bitch? Let me count the reasons: 1)I'm bossy, 2)I'm controlling 3)I lie, 4) I bitch and complain about everything, 5) I'm moody as hell. Must I go on? I think by now it's pretty clear. If I was a super hero, I would be SUPER BITCH with an entourage of Mean Girls.
So now that the bitch part is out of the way, why am I clingy? Because I can be. It works for me. Yea, yea I know - guys are turned off by girls that are clingy. Well then how come they keep coming back for more? Because I'm that damn cool. Yea that's right. I'll say it.
So you're probably wondering what I do that makes me clingy. Oh boy, where do I start? First of all, I need constant attention. 24/7. If I don't get it, I'm not happy. I want what I want when I want it. I know that I am spoiled. I admit it. Now give me what I want - your undivided attention.
Now that we've established that I am a clingy bitch, let's get to the other half of this blog: insensitive jerks. My boyfriend is a sweet, loving guy - that is when he's not being an insensitive jerk. He doesn't give in to my ways. Like take tonight for instance, I haven't seen him all week, I'm tired, I feel sick, and I'm at his house wanting to hang out. But wait, if I'm at his house, where is he? Oh yes, that's right he went to work out. I know I know, oh no, he went to work out - now I'm bein my usual clingy bitch status. But no he does it all the time. Let's take for instance the night he ditched me to go out to dinner with his ex. Was I pissed? Well, of course. I know i could have it a lot worse most of the time - in fact my ex-boyfriend was a lot worse - but the problem still remains and he continues to piss me off part of the time with his uncaring ways.
So now I bet you're wondering, what is the point of this blog? Partly to rant, partly to air my frustration, but the other part to pose a very important question: If girls are clingy bitches and guys are insensitive jerks, then how do we ever make it work? How do we compromise everything we are to live happily ever after? Is happily ever after even a possibility or is just a fairy tale we're made to believe so that we'll compromise everythin we are and give in to love?
I am a 100 percent authentic super bitch. Just ask my boyfriend. He'll tell you it's true. He puts up with my constant bitchin. Why am I bitch? Let me count the reasons: 1)I'm bossy, 2)I'm controlling 3)I lie, 4) I bitch and complain about everything, 5) I'm moody as hell. Must I go on? I think by now it's pretty clear. If I was a super hero, I would be SUPER BITCH with an entourage of Mean Girls.
So now that the bitch part is out of the way, why am I clingy? Because I can be. It works for me. Yea, yea I know - guys are turned off by girls that are clingy. Well then how come they keep coming back for more? Because I'm that damn cool. Yea that's right. I'll say it.
So you're probably wondering what I do that makes me clingy. Oh boy, where do I start? First of all, I need constant attention. 24/7. If I don't get it, I'm not happy. I want what I want when I want it. I know that I am spoiled. I admit it. Now give me what I want - your undivided attention.
Now that we've established that I am a clingy bitch, let's get to the other half of this blog: insensitive jerks. My boyfriend is a sweet, loving guy - that is when he's not being an insensitive jerk. He doesn't give in to my ways. Like take tonight for instance, I haven't seen him all week, I'm tired, I feel sick, and I'm at his house wanting to hang out. But wait, if I'm at his house, where is he? Oh yes, that's right he went to work out. I know I know, oh no, he went to work out - now I'm bein my usual clingy bitch status. But no he does it all the time. Let's take for instance the night he ditched me to go out to dinner with his ex. Was I pissed? Well, of course. I know i could have it a lot worse most of the time - in fact my ex-boyfriend was a lot worse - but the problem still remains and he continues to piss me off part of the time with his uncaring ways.
So now I bet you're wondering, what is the point of this blog? Partly to rant, partly to air my frustration, but the other part to pose a very important question: If girls are clingy bitches and guys are insensitive jerks, then how do we ever make it work? How do we compromise everything we are to live happily ever after? Is happily ever after even a possibility or is just a fairy tale we're made to believe so that we'll compromise everythin we are and give in to love?
Sadness
I am sad today. I am sad this week. I wrote a poem. It says what I feel.
I'm not happy here
I'm not happy anywhere
What's wrong with me
Why can't I just be
I just from place to place
Always saving face
Sadness consumes my day
I never know the way
I just want to cry
Sometimes I wish I'd die
I wish I could close my eyes
And end all these lies
Why doesn't it ever stop
Why can't it ever drop
Leave me alone, let me beSadness is all I can see
I'm not happy anywhere
What's wrong with me
Why can't I just be
I just from place to place
Always saving face
Sadness consumes my day
I never know the way
I just want to cry
Sometimes I wish I'd die
I wish I could close my eyes
And end all these lies
Why doesn't it ever stop
Why can't it ever drop
Leave me alone, let me beSadness is all I can see
Wedding Crashers
With the upcoming release of the movie "Wedding Crashers" starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson as well as the upcoming wedding of my best friend, I have found myself wondering a very important question: Why do weddings make girls so darn horny? And don't say they don't because I know from personal experience that they do. Last wedding I went to, you could find me during the reception bent over the back of a truck (enough said).
The combination of alcohol, dresses, hot drunk girls, and sex-crazed guys is bound to result in a few, no scratch that – a lot, of hook ups. Why else would they do a whole movie about two guys that crash weddings to hook up with the girls? It's the perfect plan: the smooth talking Vaughn and the charming Wilson crash wedding receptions to seek out sexy bridesmaids to bed.
So back to my original questions: Why do weddings make girls so damn horny? You see, for a girl (especially a single girl) a wedding is the day we dream about and plan for our whole life. The dream of one day getting married and living happily ever after is why we watch our weight, fix our hair, wear makeup, bother doing anything at all for ourselves at all. So here we are (we being us single girls like myself), standing as bridesmaids or maybe just guests as this gorgeous wedding watching another girl live our dream and wondering if we will ever have the chance to stand up there in front of everyone with all eyes on us. We are disappointed. We are pissed. We are jealous. We are HORNY! Fast forward to the reception….
Pop the cork, tap the keg, bust open a beer because we're ready to party. Dim the lights, crank the music, get grinding. Sweat dripping, skirts flying, ties loosening, and bam – you got yourself a porno. No, not so fast. Not a porno but definitely the HUGE possibility of people hooking up – a lot of people hooking up. I can't name a single friend who didn't hook up with someone at the last wedding I attended myself included. Over 50 friends crowded into one house for the after-party and as I walked through the halls and rooms the next morning I saw a lot of cuddling.
Guys love to hook up. Girls love to hook up at weddings. Guys hate weddings. What's the problem with this picture? Go to a wedding, boys, and trust me…you're going to find bridesmaids, guests, people that WANT to, are BEGGING to hook up. It's a fact.
WHY OH WHY do weddings make us so horny though? I have no desire to get married anytime soon, so why does the "I dos" make me want to do it. Give me a shout out about why weddings make girls horny? And even better, boys, why do you hate weddings so much when you know they are prime time to get a piece of ass?
The combination of alcohol, dresses, hot drunk girls, and sex-crazed guys is bound to result in a few, no scratch that – a lot, of hook ups. Why else would they do a whole movie about two guys that crash weddings to hook up with the girls? It's the perfect plan: the smooth talking Vaughn and the charming Wilson crash wedding receptions to seek out sexy bridesmaids to bed.
So back to my original questions: Why do weddings make girls so damn horny? You see, for a girl (especially a single girl) a wedding is the day we dream about and plan for our whole life. The dream of one day getting married and living happily ever after is why we watch our weight, fix our hair, wear makeup, bother doing anything at all for ourselves at all. So here we are (we being us single girls like myself), standing as bridesmaids or maybe just guests as this gorgeous wedding watching another girl live our dream and wondering if we will ever have the chance to stand up there in front of everyone with all eyes on us. We are disappointed. We are pissed. We are jealous. We are HORNY! Fast forward to the reception….
Pop the cork, tap the keg, bust open a beer because we're ready to party. Dim the lights, crank the music, get grinding. Sweat dripping, skirts flying, ties loosening, and bam – you got yourself a porno. No, not so fast. Not a porno but definitely the HUGE possibility of people hooking up – a lot of people hooking up. I can't name a single friend who didn't hook up with someone at the last wedding I attended myself included. Over 50 friends crowded into one house for the after-party and as I walked through the halls and rooms the next morning I saw a lot of cuddling.
Guys love to hook up. Girls love to hook up at weddings. Guys hate weddings. What's the problem with this picture? Go to a wedding, boys, and trust me…you're going to find bridesmaids, guests, people that WANT to, are BEGGING to hook up. It's a fact.
WHY OH WHY do weddings make us so horny though? I have no desire to get married anytime soon, so why does the "I dos" make me want to do it. Give me a shout out about why weddings make girls horny? And even better, boys, why do you hate weddings so much when you know they are prime time to get a piece of ass?
Hollywood Schizzle: Like husband, like ex-wife: Brad and Jennifer scares
This has been a long time coming but I am finally updating the celebrity news. The gossip wheel hasn't been turning very fast as of lately but I finally have something worth reporting on. Brace yourself..
Brad Pitt was hospitalized in LA on Monday with a flu-like illness. It is unknown if the illness could be related to his recent visit to Ethiopia with reported girlfriend, Angelina Jolie. Jennifer Aniston's health doesn't seem to be to well either. Aniston recently collapsed on the set of her current movie, "The Break Up." The collapse was blamed on heatstroke as a result of the sweltering heat on the set in Chicago.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst are heating up quickly. They have been spied together kissing all over LA. In other relationship news, Jared Leto and Ashley Olson are still being linked together as a budding romance seems to be developing. Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Federline's ex, Shar Jackson have been spotted together getting awfully friendly.Speaking of Kevin, rumor has it that Britney and him might be expecting twins. Only time can tell. Hookups often accompany breakups and this one is kind of shocking to me. Mischa Barton and Brandon Davis have officially broken up but will remain friends.
In other news, Christina Aguilerra is sporting an arm sling as a result of an accident reported to be a drunk brawl(but no word on that yet). Jury selection began today in the LA trial of a photographer who allegedly tried to sell topless photos of Cameron Diaz before she was famous. Despite differences, rumor has it that Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton will reunite for the fourth season of the Simple Life but no deals have been made yet.
Two singers are about to become a little richer. Sheryl Crow inked a deal with Dell computers to star in nationwide t.v. commercials to singer her song "Good is Good." American Idol Carrie Underwood signed an endorsement deal with Skechers shoe company to promote the shoes.
It's been a good day in the celebrity world...
Brad Pitt was hospitalized in LA on Monday with a flu-like illness. It is unknown if the illness could be related to his recent visit to Ethiopia with reported girlfriend, Angelina Jolie. Jennifer Aniston's health doesn't seem to be to well either. Aniston recently collapsed on the set of her current movie, "The Break Up." The collapse was blamed on heatstroke as a result of the sweltering heat on the set in Chicago.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst are heating up quickly. They have been spied together kissing all over LA. In other relationship news, Jared Leto and Ashley Olson are still being linked together as a budding romance seems to be developing. Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Federline's ex, Shar Jackson have been spotted together getting awfully friendly.Speaking of Kevin, rumor has it that Britney and him might be expecting twins. Only time can tell. Hookups often accompany breakups and this one is kind of shocking to me. Mischa Barton and Brandon Davis have officially broken up but will remain friends.
In other news, Christina Aguilerra is sporting an arm sling as a result of an accident reported to be a drunk brawl(but no word on that yet). Jury selection began today in the LA trial of a photographer who allegedly tried to sell topless photos of Cameron Diaz before she was famous. Despite differences, rumor has it that Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton will reunite for the fourth season of the Simple Life but no deals have been made yet.
Two singers are about to become a little richer. Sheryl Crow inked a deal with Dell computers to star in nationwide t.v. commercials to singer her song "Good is Good." American Idol Carrie Underwood signed an endorsement deal with Skechers shoe company to promote the shoes.
It's been a good day in the celebrity world...
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Who I am...
Isn't it funny how quizzes all over the internet try to tell you who you are or what you are or what you should by just answering a few questions. If I can't figure it out with every action and thought in my head than how can a stupid little quiz do it? So in order to get to know myself better, here are the answers to the quizzes:
- What's your ideal career: Artistic, job options - actor, art teacher, book editor, clothes designer, comedian (man you're right i'm hilarious), composer, dancer (i can't carry a beat but this sounds like a great one), DJ, graphic designer, musician (i might have JLo's ass but not her voice).
- Who were you in a past life: I was a redheaded belly dancer (i do have reddish hair) that lived in Peru that died of the plague (that must have sucked).
- What kind of coffee are you: Espresso - At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic (don't really feel like that now) At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung. You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping. Your caffeine addiction level: high (so true but news flash I HATE COFFEE!)
- What's your summer anthem: Beverly Hills by Weezer. Where I come from isn't all that great/My automobile is a piece of crap/My fashion sense is a little whack/And my friends are just as screwy as me (never heard this song but it fits oddly enough).
- Who's your daddy: Dick Cheney. I call him daddy-o. (and all these years i thought my dad's name was bob).
- What age do you act: 18 (okay so this is probably true, i'm a little immature) You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. (i do do this)\
- How do people see you: Slow and steady (that's not what my man says!) Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. (is this true about me friends?)
Geez thank goodness I took those tests. Now I don't have to wonder the world a lost soul. Dick Cheney is my dad so I'm totally loaded with all those years of back child support. Way to go mom! I can bellydance. I'm going to be the next JLo. I just took 3 years off of my life (shit i'm not of drinking age anymore). Wow, I know myself so much better. Go to blogthings.com if you want to know yourself better.
Carrie Bradshaw Prodigy
Don't you hate when you actually have to work while you're at work? It's the worst. It really delays my blogging. Sorry for not posting yet today. My boss actually had the nerve to make me work. Whatever. I finally found a few free minutes to do an entry, much to the nagging of my best friend! Here ya go girl!
Yesterday I gave the address of my blog to my friend who went and checked it out. Her comment was "I loved it. You're the next Carrie!" This gave me a great (or what I think is a great) idea. Even though she's not a real person, I love the idea of Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex and the City). And more importantly, I love Carrie Bradshaw's column (or fake column since it doesn't really exist). It is insightful about life, especially the single girl's life and very much the same stuff I think up on a daily basis. What if I turned my blog into a Carrie Bradshaw type column. BRILLIANT I say!
What do you think of this idea? For those of you who actually watch Sex and the City, would you like to read a real life Sex and the City blog or would you rather me stick to my normal ramblings? Don't worry though...I'm sure as scatterbrained as I am the ramblings won't completely disappear.
So starting tomorrow (not today because I actually have to work) check back to read my very first Carrie Bradshaw-style column. Hey and if you have any good ideas for a name, give me a shout out! Thanks and tune in tomorrow.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
We were ON A BREAK
My boyfriend and I came up on an interesting topic tonight over supper: the rules of a "break." One of our couple friends just recently went on a break. And I'm sure we've all seen the classic Friends where Ross and Rachael went on a break and got into a fight over what a break means. What are the rules of a break? We know what it means to date and we know what it means to break UP but what is a break? My boyfriend, being the classic guy that he is, defined a break as a temporary breakup where you can see who you want and more importantly, have sex with who you want. I, on the other hand, believe that a break is a chance to spend time apart and think about the relationship. You're not breaking up, you are only taking a temporary break with the belief that you will be getting back together. I think that you can SEE other people but not DO other people because you are most likely going to get back together. I'd like to hear what you think. How would you define a "break?" And for all you guys out there, my boyfriend wants to know why would any guy would want to go on a break if he can't have sex with anybody? So please weigh in on this important topic that can really screw up a relationship if it's not properly understood. WHAT IS A BREAK? And how is it different from breaking up?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
If they read it, don't diss
I have a good lesson today: If a person had the address of your blog, don't write about them. My boyfriend didn't think yesterday's entry was quite as hilarious as I found it. In fact, he was a little pissed. "George? George is funny," he said. Of course he is was my reply because to tell you the truth he is as is my boyfriend too in a very George sort of way. He's so darn cute and just a little dorky and that's what makes him so attractive. Missfortunehunter left a comment on my blog that got me thinking. She said "What do most of us women in the long run end up with????I mean how many of us can say we got a Jerry? Much less a Brad Pitt from Troy or a JFK wanna be, or a a... a....aaa Chippendale wannabe?....He could be onto something...." That's so true. I'm never gonna marry Brad Pitt or George Clooney or Paul Walker or someone equally as hot. Sure it'd be awesome but bein hot gets old as does the person you're with. At the end of the day, you just want to come home to the person that you love and that loves you unconditionally and who can make you laught - not because they are the next Jerry Seinfeld - but because you think they are so darn cute and wonderful that everything they say is funny. For me, that person is my boyfriend and I love him more and more every day.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Jerry Seinfeld? I don't think so
My boyfriend has decided he's hilarious and that with my writing skills and his humor, we should write a comedy t.v. show. No, he's not joking. He's been hounding me to start for over a week now. But here's the problem...my boyfriend's no Jerry Seinfeld. To be honest, he's more of a George Costanza. He's even got the whole short and balding thing going (don't get me wrong my boyfriend is much more handsome than George!). But he's about as funny as George. He's not. But he thinks he's a riot. We'll talk about something (usually something that's not really that funny) and he's like "Now that's funny. I could do a whole comedy routine on that. We could put that in our show." Then he does the whole Timmy from South Park thing "Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?" . These are his characters so far: a girl who things that every guy she dates is weird. There's always something wrong with them (much like Jerry) and a girl who loves the 80s and worships the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now that's funny he says. Um, not so much is what I"m thinking. Actually I usually do laugh my ass off while watching him tell jokes because HE thinks he's so funny that I laugh AT him. It's kind of cute watching him though as he gets all proud at himself for his lame joke. Oh god, I really hope he doesn't read this one or I'm going to be in trouble. So how do I tell my boyfriend that writing a comedy will be a waste of our time because NEWS FLASH: YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I was afraid that the work prankster wouldn't be able to get through a whole day without playing a single joke on me. I was write. He sent me a "test" email at which time my speakers go crazy going HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO. Hey, at least it wasn't announcing I was looking at porn. Until prankster's next joke....
A sad day for the Pants Peers Club
I almost cried today. We will either be losing the president or treasurer of the Pants Peer Club. Our friends Bryan and Penny broke up last night (tear tear). I was shocked when my boyfriend called and told me because we were just with them last night and they seemed fine. In fact they just came back from vacation with his family to Las Vegas. It sucks because they are are favorite couple to hang out with and creates a dilemma with them seperated especially since next year I'll be living with her and my boyfriend will be living with Bryan. So tonight my boyfriend wants us to go out with Bryan and cheer him up and I want to go out with Penny and cheer her up. So who do we hang out with? Good question. They are both are friends.
But in more pressing matters..could this be the end of the Pants Peers Club? How can it continue without the founder of the club, the original pants peer? Don't laugh, this is a serious matter.
My neighbor leaves his work boots sitting outside his door every night for work in the morning. Well, if you read my blog from this morning, you know that I was incredibly intoxicated last night. So I thought it would be really funny to hide his boots. So I threw it in the corner of the deck where he couldn't see it. Apparently he didn't find it as funny at 6 a.m. this morning when he came pounding on my door looking for it. In fact I didn't find it quite as funny either as he dragged my hungover ass out of bed. Sorry Z!
But in more pressing matters..could this be the end of the Pants Peers Club? How can it continue without the founder of the club, the original pants peer? Don't laugh, this is a serious matter.
My neighbor leaves his work boots sitting outside his door every night for work in the morning. Well, if you read my blog from this morning, you know that I was incredibly intoxicated last night. So I thought it would be really funny to hide his boots. So I threw it in the corner of the deck where he couldn't see it. Apparently he didn't find it as funny at 6 a.m. this morning when he came pounding on my door looking for it. In fact I didn't find it quite as funny either as he dragged my hungover ass out of bed. Sorry Z!
I do have fans!
Believe it or not people are actually reading my blog. MY blog! I can't believe it. I feel like a celebrity. Maybe I can start putting myself in my celebrity scoop entries! :) One blogger (http://jadewaterman.blogspot.com) even did an entry on me! Thanks Jade! You should check hers out.
So the work prankster is at it again. I thought I was hearing things when I heard a sheep baaing. But then it happened again this time even louder. Well, the prankster who is also our computer guy, programmed a coworkers computer to BAAAAAAAA very loudly every time she got an email and then proceeded to email her multiple times. And if the baaing wasn't enough, I began to hear oinking. Computer guy had programmed my friend's computer to oink every time she got an email. Now I'm a little scared because he's threatening to make mine say "HEY GUYS I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE." And if he does I will be humiliated. I don't know where he comes up with these pranks but they are good which means I really have to crank up my efforts to get revenge. Ideas, anyone?
Here's a quote to leave you with...
I like to have a martini, two at the very most -- after three I'm under the table; after four, I'm under the host. -- Dorothy Parker
So the work prankster is at it again. I thought I was hearing things when I heard a sheep baaing. But then it happened again this time even louder. Well, the prankster who is also our computer guy, programmed a coworkers computer to BAAAAAAAA very loudly every time she got an email and then proceeded to email her multiple times. And if the baaing wasn't enough, I began to hear oinking. Computer guy had programmed my friend's computer to oink every time she got an email. Now I'm a little scared because he's threatening to make mine say "HEY GUYS I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE." And if he does I will be humiliated. I don't know where he comes up with these pranks but they are good which means I really have to crank up my efforts to get revenge. Ideas, anyone?
Here's a quote to leave you with...
I like to have a martini, two at the very most -- after three I'm under the table; after four, I'm under the host. -- Dorothy Parker
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up!
I'm starting to think I am wasting my time blogging because I don't think anyone actually reads what I have to say because no one ever leaves a comment. I tried to get a hit counter on here to see how many people visit my site but I guess I'm too stupid to figure it out because as you can tell, NO hit counter! So if you are actually reading this please leave me a comment so I don't feel completely worthless.
Last night I spent most of my night in a drunken blur. I hit the bar immediately after work and it gets a little fuzzy from there. One thing I do remember though is textmessaging half the people in my phone book with pure randomness. My drunken stupidity thought it would be fun to text message people the title "if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up!" Hey that would be pretty funny if you were drunk like me but for those people who were at home, probably in bed, so sorry. It's from the late great Mitch Hedberg is you were wondering. So anyways I have a killer hangover today thanks to my binge drinking. I think I have finally figured out why adults don't go to the bar that often. It sucks to have a hangover at work!
I have a lame weekend ahead of me. All my friends are going to be gone and I have nothing to do. I tried to talk my mom into coming to visit me but even SHE blew me off. My own mom. She had to go to a "birthday party". Sure ya did, mom.
I had a hilarious joke played on my yesterday. I am writing a novel (excerpt to come in the next entry) and my coworker accidentally forwarded it to another person who I didn't know had read it and he called and disguised his voice and let me a message that scared the crap out of me. The book is a murder mystery and he called and acted out a scene from the novel that is frickin scary! I about crapped my pants. It was a good joke though but now I have to think of a way to get him back so if you have any ideas I'm all ears!
And finally...please please please leave me a comment and let me know if you're actually reading this!!
Last night I spent most of my night in a drunken blur. I hit the bar immediately after work and it gets a little fuzzy from there. One thing I do remember though is textmessaging half the people in my phone book with pure randomness. My drunken stupidity thought it would be fun to text message people the title "if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up!" Hey that would be pretty funny if you were drunk like me but for those people who were at home, probably in bed, so sorry. It's from the late great Mitch Hedberg is you were wondering. So anyways I have a killer hangover today thanks to my binge drinking. I think I have finally figured out why adults don't go to the bar that often. It sucks to have a hangover at work!
I have a lame weekend ahead of me. All my friends are going to be gone and I have nothing to do. I tried to talk my mom into coming to visit me but even SHE blew me off. My own mom. She had to go to a "birthday party". Sure ya did, mom.
I had a hilarious joke played on my yesterday. I am writing a novel (excerpt to come in the next entry) and my coworker accidentally forwarded it to another person who I didn't know had read it and he called and disguised his voice and let me a message that scared the crap out of me. The book is a murder mystery and he called and acted out a scene from the novel that is frickin scary! I about crapped my pants. It was a good joke though but now I have to think of a way to get him back so if you have any ideas I'm all ears!
And finally...please please please leave me a comment and let me know if you're actually reading this!!
Hook ups and blow offs
The hookups are running rampid today. Apparently the rumor about Ashley Olson and Jared Leto is true as they have been spotted together "multiple" times including as a groupie as his concert. Jake Gylennhal (sp?) and Kirsten Dunst are making out all Tinseltown. Whether they're back together is still questionable but probable. Oprah Winfrey is apparently having a garage sale and selling all her Hermes products due to the traumatic and "racist" rejection from their store. Man what i would do to be at that garage sale. Imagine the duds you could snag! The Star and Enquirer have pictures of Bennifer's wedding and an eavesdropper claims they are having a girl. That's all I have for now but I'm hoping that we'll have some late breaking gossip to hold me through the weekend.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Celebrity News
More celebrity news...
Ashley Olsen is rumored to be dating Jared Leto. They were seen together in New York where Ashley attends NYU. Wow she must be into older guys. She dated club owner Scott Sariatano until recently.
Lindsay Lohan apparently lost weight because of stress of her parent's divorce or that is what her father, Michael is claiming anyways. He tells PageSix.com, "People wonder why Lindsay's so thin. It's because of all this garbage between her mother and me. She's beaten up inside. It's ripped our whole family apart."
Johnny Knoxville is apparently taking some heat from his wife about his alleged affair with Jessica Simpson. Who knew he was even married? Speaking of Jessica..if you haven't checked out her new video for "These Boots are made for Walkin" you should. Has anyone checked to see if she was a stripper before becoming famous? Man, I'd kill to have a body like hers. This movie has done her good!!
That's all for today. More tomorrow. Day before the weekend, there's gotta be something shocking!
Ashley Olsen is rumored to be dating Jared Leto. They were seen together in New York where Ashley attends NYU. Wow she must be into older guys. She dated club owner Scott Sariatano until recently.
Lindsay Lohan apparently lost weight because of stress of her parent's divorce or that is what her father, Michael is claiming anyways. He tells PageSix.com, "People wonder why Lindsay's so thin. It's because of all this garbage between her mother and me. She's beaten up inside. It's ripped our whole family apart."
Johnny Knoxville is apparently taking some heat from his wife about his alleged affair with Jessica Simpson. Who knew he was even married? Speaking of Jessica..if you haven't checked out her new video for "These Boots are made for Walkin" you should. Has anyone checked to see if she was a stripper before becoming famous? Man, I'd kill to have a body like hers. This movie has done her good!!
That's all for today. More tomorrow. Day before the weekend, there's gotta be something shocking!
Celebrity news
Rumor has it that Olsen twin, Ashley is dating hottie Jared Leto. The pair have been spotted together in New York--where Olsen is a student at New York University. She recently broke up with club owner Scott Sartiano.
Lindsay Lohan is blaming her extreme weight loss on her parents' divorce. Lohan's father, Michael, tells PageSix.com, "People wonder why Lindsay's so thin. It's because of all this garbage between her mother and me. She's beaten up inside. It's ripped our whole family apart."
Katie Holmes claims despite her recent engagement to Tom Cruise that she isn't ready to get married "yet." But she does wish to have someone to grow old with. So apparently she won't be Mrs. Tom Cruise anytime soon.
Johnny Knoxville is rumored to be in trouble over the rumors about him and Jessica Simpson's "affair." Who knew he was even married cuz I didn't!?! Speaking of Jessica..has anyone seen her new video? Wow, did anyone check to see if she was a stripper before becoming famous? If you haven't seen it, check it out. Man I'd kill to have her body!
Lindsay Lohan is blaming her extreme weight loss on her parents' divorce. Lohan's father, Michael, tells PageSix.com, "People wonder why Lindsay's so thin. It's because of all this garbage between her mother and me. She's beaten up inside. It's ripped our whole family apart."
Katie Holmes claims despite her recent engagement to Tom Cruise that she isn't ready to get married "yet." But she does wish to have someone to grow old with. So apparently she won't be Mrs. Tom Cruise anytime soon.
Johnny Knoxville is rumored to be in trouble over the rumors about him and Jessica Simpson's "affair." Who knew he was even married cuz I didn't!?! Speaking of Jessica..has anyone seen her new video? Wow, did anyone check to see if she was a stripper before becoming famous? If you haven't seen it, check it out. Man I'd kill to have her body!
If peeing you're pants is cool, I'm Miles Davis!
As I was writing my 10 things about me, I remembered a really funny spring break story that I have to share. Mmy boy and his friends are gonna kill me but here goes anyways! My friends and I went to the Bahamas for Spring Break this year. It was me, my boyfriend, his roommate, and his girlfriend all crammed in a small, crappy hotel room.
Well, no Spring Break is complete without a booze cruise so me and my friends signed up and went - all you can drink and eat as you go on a night cruise on the ocean. Well, we can drink a lot and so can my friend, lets call him Bryan. So Bryan just gets wasted and him and his girlfriend go home and pass out after the booze cruise.
Since our hotel room only had one bed, we had an air mattress and each couple took turns sleeping on each. It was me and my boyfriend's turn for the bed. Well, we went out for awhile before finally turning in for the night. We get back to the hotel room and his girlfriend, we'll call her Penny, is in the bed asleep while Bryan is on the air mattress. So my boyfriend and I climb into bed with Penny and pass out.
The next morning we wake up and the bed is a little cozier as Bryan has climbed into bed with us butt naked. "Why are you naked?" my boyfriend asks. Well, Bryan makes a funny face and realizing there's no way to hide it says "I guess we'll all sleep in the bed tonight because I peed on the air mattress." We all die laughing that he is 21 and has peed the bed. Okay, I admit alcohol was involved but still...So we all spend the rest of the week heckling him and making fun of him especially my boyfriend and I. Not a good idea cuz karma's a bitch.
So the trip home was a long one and we were all tired. We had to drive 20 hours from Florida in a van. My boyfriend was sleeping in the back when we decided to pull up to a McDonald's and eat breakfast. We ask him if he wants to get out and yea yea he does. "Let's eat inside," he says. Then we get there and he's decided he doesn't want anything and he'll wait in the van.
So we go in order and decide to take in on the road and head back to the van. We get to the van and my boyfriend is out of the van getting new clothes out of his bag? I ask him what he's doing and he says "I'm getting a fresh start on the day." So then me and my boyfriend pile in the van while the other couple waits outside for him to change. I ask him what hes doing and why he's changing. Finally he admits "I peed my pants." Now I am laughing my ass off. I tell the other two, they are laughing their ass off. Two 21 year old boys have peed their pants. One while drunk, one while not. Now I'M laughing so hard that I'VE peed MY pants.
Our of the 4 of us only one didn't pee their pants on spring break but one month later on her 21st birthday she joined our "pants peer club" with a great big pee spot on her pants! Wow, karma really is a bitch. The lesson to take from this: Don't make fun of people who pee their pants or you'll pee yours too!
Well, no Spring Break is complete without a booze cruise so me and my friends signed up and went - all you can drink and eat as you go on a night cruise on the ocean. Well, we can drink a lot and so can my friend, lets call him Bryan. So Bryan just gets wasted and him and his girlfriend go home and pass out after the booze cruise.
Since our hotel room only had one bed, we had an air mattress and each couple took turns sleeping on each. It was me and my boyfriend's turn for the bed. Well, we went out for awhile before finally turning in for the night. We get back to the hotel room and his girlfriend, we'll call her Penny, is in the bed asleep while Bryan is on the air mattress. So my boyfriend and I climb into bed with Penny and pass out.
The next morning we wake up and the bed is a little cozier as Bryan has climbed into bed with us butt naked. "Why are you naked?" my boyfriend asks. Well, Bryan makes a funny face and realizing there's no way to hide it says "I guess we'll all sleep in the bed tonight because I peed on the air mattress." We all die laughing that he is 21 and has peed the bed. Okay, I admit alcohol was involved but still...So we all spend the rest of the week heckling him and making fun of him especially my boyfriend and I. Not a good idea cuz karma's a bitch.
So the trip home was a long one and we were all tired. We had to drive 20 hours from Florida in a van. My boyfriend was sleeping in the back when we decided to pull up to a McDonald's and eat breakfast. We ask him if he wants to get out and yea yea he does. "Let's eat inside," he says. Then we get there and he's decided he doesn't want anything and he'll wait in the van.
So we go in order and decide to take in on the road and head back to the van. We get to the van and my boyfriend is out of the van getting new clothes out of his bag? I ask him what he's doing and he says "I'm getting a fresh start on the day." So then me and my boyfriend pile in the van while the other couple waits outside for him to change. I ask him what hes doing and why he's changing. Finally he admits "I peed my pants." Now I am laughing my ass off. I tell the other two, they are laughing their ass off. Two 21 year old boys have peed their pants. One while drunk, one while not. Now I'M laughing so hard that I'VE peed MY pants.
Our of the 4 of us only one didn't pee their pants on spring break but one month later on her 21st birthday she joined our "pants peer club" with a great big pee spot on her pants! Wow, karma really is a bitch. The lesson to take from this: Don't make fun of people who pee their pants or you'll pee yours too!
Crazy little tidbits
Because I am feeling especially random and most of all bored today, I am going to share things you never needed to know about moi. I'll add to it gradually in the future until I finally reach 100. Here's the first 10:
1) I'm a drama queen
2) I only eat white food: potatoes, chicken, ice cream, bread
3) I'm a girl and oh my god - I fart.
4) I fart more often than my boyfriend.
5) Sometimes when I laugh really hard, I pee my pants
6) I lie
7) I'm a total mama's girl. If I don't talk to her at least twice a day, I'm lost.
8) I'm a hypochondriac except I realy have weird things wrong with me.
9) My imagination runs wild.
10) I'm scared of the dark.
If you wanna know more, you gotta tune in tomorrow!
1) I'm a drama queen
2) I only eat white food: potatoes, chicken, ice cream, bread
3) I'm a girl and oh my god - I fart.
4) I fart more often than my boyfriend.
5) Sometimes when I laugh really hard, I pee my pants
6) I lie
7) I'm a total mama's girl. If I don't talk to her at least twice a day, I'm lost.
8) I'm a hypochondriac except I realy have weird things wrong with me.
9) My imagination runs wild.
10) I'm scared of the dark.
If you wanna know more, you gotta tune in tomorrow!
Vinniifer or Jence?
If you've hit your local newstand, you'll see Jennifer Anniston splashed all over the covers of In Touch and US Weekly. And the talk is that her and Vince Vaughn, her costar in The Breakup, are getting hot and heavy. Pictures in In Touch show them cuddling together and looking very friendly. You can also go to People magazine's website to check out pictures of Vince and Jen cozying up. Jen also looks like she's dropped some weight and is looking tiny and stunning in the pictures.
We can't talk about Jen without at least mentioning Brad. Apparently he was present with Angelina when she was in Ethiopia adopting her new baby. If that isn't more proof they are together, I don't know what is.
On to the subject of hot summer t.v., General Hospital's Kelly Moracco won Dancing with the Stars last night. She beat out favorite Seinfeld's John O'Hurley to take the title. Beauty and the Geek also wrapped up last night as one couple became "no longer a beauty and the geek". Well, that's good for the geek but crappy for the beauty. What is she now? A non-beauty? But anyways..uber-geek Richard blew it for his team as he didn't know Mindi's middle name in the tiebreaker question. My favorites, Chuch and Caitilin took the grand prize of $250,000. Since we're on the subject of reality t.v., a good source tells me that Real World Austin's super cute couple Melinda and Danny are still hot and heavy and are considering moving in together. I guess we'll see if this is true in the next few months as the show develops.
That's all for now. I'll have more soon.
We can't talk about Jen without at least mentioning Brad. Apparently he was present with Angelina when she was in Ethiopia adopting her new baby. If that isn't more proof they are together, I don't know what is.
On to the subject of hot summer t.v., General Hospital's Kelly Moracco won Dancing with the Stars last night. She beat out favorite Seinfeld's John O'Hurley to take the title. Beauty and the Geek also wrapped up last night as one couple became "no longer a beauty and the geek". Well, that's good for the geek but crappy for the beauty. What is she now? A non-beauty? But anyways..uber-geek Richard blew it for his team as he didn't know Mindi's middle name in the tiebreaker question. My favorites, Chuch and Caitilin took the grand prize of $250,000. Since we're on the subject of reality t.v., a good source tells me that Real World Austin's super cute couple Melinda and Danny are still hot and heavy and are considering moving in together. I guess we'll see if this is true in the next few months as the show develops.
That's all for now. I'll have more soon.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Laughter...
It’s something that doesn’t come easy
It’s always been hard for me
I can’t find that happy place
To set the laughter free
But the tears have no hiding place
They’re always running down my face
I try to lose my frown
And turn it upside down
But no matter what I try
I continue to cry
My heart is broken
The words have been spoken
There will be no laughter today
What else is there to say?
It’s always been hard for me
I can’t find that happy place
To set the laughter free
But the tears have no hiding place
They’re always running down my face
I try to lose my frown
And turn it upside down
But no matter what I try
I continue to cry
My heart is broken
The words have been spoken
There will be no laughter today
What else is there to say?
Quote THIS
Everyone neeeds a good "favorite" quote. Everything I fill out wants to know my favorite quote and I never have a really, really clever one. So I've compiled a list of humorous quotes so that next time you're asked for a quote you don't say something cliche like "Love is like a river peaceful and sweet..." okay enough of that crap..Let's get to the quotes!
- Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
- When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
- Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
- They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
- Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
- The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
- It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
More quotes to come in the future...Maybe I should start a quote of the day. What do you think?
Celebrity Scoop is Poop today
I am really going through gossip withdrawl. All my favorite gossip websites aren't being updated until next week so I've found myself browsing to try to make new ones. The gossip is few and far between but I won't leave my fellow nosy friends hanging. Here it is:
- Angelina Jolie adopted an almost one-year old little girl from Ethiopia who was orphaned because of AIDS.
- Lil' Kim got 1 year and 1 day as well as $50,000 in fines for lying to a federal grand jury to protect friends involved in the 2001 gun fight outside of a Manhattan radio station.
- Surprise, surprise...Lance Armstrong took the lead in the Tour de France. By the way, whoever was spreading the rumor about trouble in paradise between Armstrong and Sheryl Crow were full of crap. They are happy as ever.
Sorry to disappoint that's all the hard hitting gossip I have for today. But tune in tomorrow because something's gotta happen soon!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Sex and the City Wannabe
I am a Sex and the City addict. I love everything about the show. I hadn't even watched it until earlier this year because I've never had the HBO channel. One day me and my friends decided to rent the first four episodes of season one and we were immediately hooked. We should have been spending our time studying for classes or looking for a job but instead we were holed up in our apartment watching Sex and the City from the first episode to the last. We watched all however many episodes in less than a month. We were obsessed.
After watching the show, we all felt like we related to a character. It was funny that somehow none of us picked the same character we thought we were most like. Each of us just found a character we immediately connected with and on some level felt that explained who we were. I think that is one of the biggest reasons Sex and the City was such a huge success. You have Carrie who is the main face and voice of the show. She is a fashion addict who writes a weekly column in the newspaper. She is the most dynamic character on the show. She loves yet is afraid of marriage. She is the friend to everyone. The person that ties the whole show together. Then you have Samantha. She is the sexpot. She sleeps around and has no shame about sleeping around. She is with a new guy every show and has a hard time believing in love. Then we have Miranda. She is the most pessimistic person. She is always down or complaining about something. She is anti-everything pretty much. She is negative about love. Finally we have Charlotte. Charlotte is the old-fashioned woman. She believes in the fairy tale - love, marriage, and happily ever after. She things there is one true love for everyone.
I am Carrie. Or that's what I would like to think. Although my friends tell me I'm Samantha. Or I used to be Samantha at least when we first started watching the show. I had the same attitudes about love, sex, and life. My best friend was Charlotte. She still is. She has always been "in love" with someone and is now, at only 19, getting married next month. They have only been dating 9 months, less than me and my boyfriend. She is Charlotte to the nutshell. My other friend is Miranda. She even has the red hair. And although she doesn't admit it she's hesitant about relationships. She always finds something wrong with every guy who likes her or calls her. The only relationship she ever goes for is long distance ones because then she doesn't have to deal with all the relationship bs. To find out which Sex and the City vixen you're most like, go to www.yournewromance.com/cityquiz.html. I took the test and they said that I am Carrie. Not Samantha like my friends say.
Sex and the City has to be one of the most quotable shows ever. There are so many great quotes that it's hard to just pick a few but here a a few of my favorites from Carrie:
"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"
"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. "
"I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got. "
So let me know what Sex and the City character you are most like and why? Take the quiz, watch the show, and enjoy.
After watching the show, we all felt like we related to a character. It was funny that somehow none of us picked the same character we thought we were most like. Each of us just found a character we immediately connected with and on some level felt that explained who we were. I think that is one of the biggest reasons Sex and the City was such a huge success. You have Carrie who is the main face and voice of the show. She is a fashion addict who writes a weekly column in the newspaper. She is the most dynamic character on the show. She loves yet is afraid of marriage. She is the friend to everyone. The person that ties the whole show together. Then you have Samantha. She is the sexpot. She sleeps around and has no shame about sleeping around. She is with a new guy every show and has a hard time believing in love. Then we have Miranda. She is the most pessimistic person. She is always down or complaining about something. She is anti-everything pretty much. She is negative about love. Finally we have Charlotte. Charlotte is the old-fashioned woman. She believes in the fairy tale - love, marriage, and happily ever after. She things there is one true love for everyone.
I am Carrie. Or that's what I would like to think. Although my friends tell me I'm Samantha. Or I used to be Samantha at least when we first started watching the show. I had the same attitudes about love, sex, and life. My best friend was Charlotte. She still is. She has always been "in love" with someone and is now, at only 19, getting married next month. They have only been dating 9 months, less than me and my boyfriend. She is Charlotte to the nutshell. My other friend is Miranda. She even has the red hair. And although she doesn't admit it she's hesitant about relationships. She always finds something wrong with every guy who likes her or calls her. The only relationship she ever goes for is long distance ones because then she doesn't have to deal with all the relationship bs. To find out which Sex and the City vixen you're most like, go to www.yournewromance.com/cityquiz.html. I took the test and they said that I am Carrie. Not Samantha like my friends say.
Sex and the City has to be one of the most quotable shows ever. There are so many great quotes that it's hard to just pick a few but here a a few of my favorites from Carrie:
"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"
"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. "
"I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got. "
So let me know what Sex and the City character you are most like and why? Take the quiz, watch the show, and enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)