Sunday, July 10, 2005
We were ON A BREAK
My boyfriend and I came up on an interesting topic tonight over supper: the rules of a "break." One of our couple friends just recently went on a break. And I'm sure we've all seen the classic Friends where Ross and Rachael went on a break and got into a fight over what a break means. What are the rules of a break? We know what it means to date and we know what it means to break UP but what is a break? My boyfriend, being the classic guy that he is, defined a break as a temporary breakup where you can see who you want and more importantly, have sex with who you want. I, on the other hand, believe that a break is a chance to spend time apart and think about the relationship. You're not breaking up, you are only taking a temporary break with the belief that you will be getting back together. I think that you can SEE other people but not DO other people because you are most likely going to get back together. I'd like to hear what you think. How would you define a "break?" And for all you guys out there, my boyfriend wants to know why would any guy would want to go on a break if he can't have sex with anybody? So please weigh in on this important topic that can really screw up a relationship if it's not properly understood. WHAT IS A BREAK? And how is it different from breaking up?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
What a great question!
Speaking from experience with different types of men - your man has a point. Some men would agree that it's "just time apart" but I have to even admit to the fact it can include DOING whatever, with whomever (and I have been on both sides of that border at one time or another - OOOO!). However, deep down a "break" over all to me means time apart to reflect on the relationship and come to an ultimate conclusion if it's worth going for more of it.
The hardest part for most couples, is dealing with what happened during such time apart - AND that is important to think about before doing it.
Just my two cents for a Monday morning.
I think that the definition of the break is to step back and reflect on the relationship - whatever the situation may be. I think out of respect you have to realize that if you do get together with anyone during that time - it may come back to haunt you (speaking from experience).
HOWEVER - the idea of someone taking a break is usually indicative of already having someone or something to do in mind.
I agree that a "break" is a time to reflect on your relationship. For some, Allison is right, it does equal an easy way to get out of a relationship without having to go through the messiness of a break up. I think though that if it is going to be a time to sleep with other people it should be discusses because if the break is only temporary sleeping with other people is likely to cause a permanent breakup. Thanks for all of your opinions! My boyfriend and I have really been butting heads on this.
Break - with the word "up" lacking from that phrase, it simply means Vacation. I'm taking a breather from you and your ass for awhile, because I need to think if I want to still go to bed with said ass. I love you...but I need time. However...if while on this Vacation, you decide to share your ass with someone else, then the Vacation is over and the Break-Up has taken up residence at that hot Vacation spot.
That's my take on it.
Vee, girl, thanks for the comment to my blog. Just for that, you rock. I'm not a great person, but a good one that tries really hard.
I'm a dork that can be serious. Hope you come back to visit!
- A
I think you and your boyfriend are taking the general stances that were taken by the characters in the Friend's episode you are referring to.
The only way to do this and plan to get back together without consiquences is to sit down and talk about what your break means to the two of you. You will have to discuss and define all parameters and even then you can not be sure that both parties will feel the same after something has happened.
Its easy to say, "I dont mind if you have sex with someone else" until it happens. When it does you are overcome with feelings which is very normal. Best of luck to you both.
Alecia, you crack me up!
I love it that it seems no one can agree on what a break actually is. My boyfriend is going to love all of you who sided with him and I love all who sided with me (as well as the ones that didn't!) I definitely think that someone better write a "BREAK" guide because with this much confusion it's guaranteed to cause break UPS!
Well if you're on a break and you or your boyfriend sleeps with someone else, maybe thats a clue that you really shouldn't be together. Its a lame excuse so a guy can sleep with other girls while still holding onto the chance of being able to sleep with you. I wouldn't put up with it.
A break is not a time to sleep with other people. That's what you do when you break up and obviously if you're on a break and the person sleeps with someone else then you need to dump their ass. What you should be doing during a break is like alecia said take a vacation from each other, reevaluate how you feel about each other and then either get back together or say so long and then you can do other people
They way you define break you say SEE other people and stop at DO. What does SEE other people mean? and when does it cross the line into DO other people?
See other people means date while DO mean having sex with other people. But as with anything the lines between the two are often blurred.
I don't believe in "breaks." I think if you really believe that you were meant to be together, then people would talk through whatever issue rather than using a "break" as an excuse to basically see if there's something better out there. But then again, maybe I'm incredibly difficult, but to me, you're either together, or you're not.
I think that if a couple is talking about a "break", then you might as well consider yourself single because most men will take the opportunity to sleep with someone else, even if he knows beforehand that it will kill any chances of getting back together. I'm not hating on men, but it's just how it seems to be. Even if it doesn't happen that way, a break means one or both people really don't want to be in the relationship, but that one or both people are afraid of being alone. That's my two cents. Thanks for stopping by my blog, btw. :-)
Post a Comment