And you want to live here for how long?

Playing bachelorette games with a bar full of 50 year old guys missing teeth is not a good idea. First off, it’s gross to have to pinch a fat guy’s butt and tell him “You have a nice ass.” It’s hard to find a guy who can give you a piggy back ride when he can’t even stand up straight. It’s not easy to get a guy to take his shirt off when he’s wearing overalls. And most importantly, it’s gross to have to kiss a guy missing all his teeth.

My friend’s final fling before the ring was filled with fun, games, alcohol, girl talk, and more alcohol. The craziness started before I was good and in the door at my friend’s house as they were all waiting for me and read to go to the bar at only 7 p.m. I didn’t even know the bars opened before at least 10! Since the wonderful county fair was in the neighboring town, we weren’t surprised to find the bar deserted but we grabbed us a booth anyways.

The great thing about small towns is that everyone knows everyone. The bartender hung up balloons, gave us bachelorette party napkins and a game to play, and started making jello shots (later to be given to us for free). This is all great except when you want to leave and feel guilty about leaving her after she was so nice to you.

First of all, I don’t think that the tasks I made for my friend were anywhere near hard enough because she finished them in a snap. She got a guy to moon her (don’t worry – we got pics), she got not one but TWO guy’s boxers, she got 5 guys’ philosophy on marriage (you’re nuts, don’t do it, it sucks, marry me, sex ends), she chugged a beer with her buds, she actually convinced a guy she was a virgin (yea we can’t believe this either) and did several other tasks. We were impressed by how quickly she completed it making us think we were way too easy on her. She has already warned me that I better be ready when I get married because she will have it in for me. Shit.

By 10, we were all smashed. We kept downing beers, shooting shots, ordering new drinks, and chugging away. Before 11, my friend was on the table dancing – alone. Guys were shoving money everywhere from down her cleavage to down her pants – one guy even used his mouth (he was also the guy missing all but two teeth). By the end of the night she had collected almost $20. Not bad for a night at a podunk beer with the guys in the overalls.

The night didn’t get quite as out of hand as I would have liked (probably because no one else ever came to the bar the whole night) but it was fun none the less. Three friends from the Ice Age reunited for one last night of fun and partying while reminiscing about the good old days. Okay so we’re not that old – 22, 21, and 20 but still – we might as well have been because it had been ions since the three of us had all joined together for a night of partying. Throw in a few new friends and you have a night of fun and some memories that will last (many that were caught on film).

For those of you who suggested we not take pictures for our friends sake, we did. We took many pictures. Pictures of naked asses, tabletop dancing, piggyback rides, and ass grabbing. The night wouldn’t have been complete without a few photos to keep in the blackmail file. Who knows when I might need to pull them out and put them to good use. The fun never ends…