With the upcoming release of the movie "Wedding Crashers" starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson as well as the upcoming wedding of my best friend, I have found myself wondering a very important question: Why do weddings make girls so darn horny? And don't say they don't because I know from personal experience that they do. Last wedding I went to, you could find me during the reception bent over the back of a truck (enough said).
The combination of alcohol, dresses, hot drunk girls, and sex-crazed guys is bound to result in a few, no scratch that – a lot, of hook ups. Why else would they do a whole movie about two guys that crash weddings to hook up with the girls? It's the perfect plan: the smooth talking Vaughn and the charming Wilson crash wedding receptions to seek out sexy bridesmaids to bed.
So back to my original questions: Why do weddings make girls so damn horny? You see, for a girl (especially a single girl) a wedding is the day we dream about and plan for our whole life. The dream of one day getting married and living happily ever after is why we watch our weight, fix our hair, wear makeup, bother doing anything at all for ourselves at all. So here we are (we being us single girls like myself), standing as bridesmaids or maybe just guests as this gorgeous wedding watching another girl live our dream and wondering if we will ever have the chance to stand up there in front of everyone with all eyes on us. We are disappointed. We are pissed. We are jealous. We are HORNY! Fast forward to the reception….
Pop the cork, tap the keg, bust open a beer because we're ready to party. Dim the lights, crank the music, get grinding. Sweat dripping, skirts flying, ties loosening, and bam – you got yourself a porno. No, not so fast. Not a porno but definitely the HUGE possibility of people hooking up – a lot of people hooking up. I can't name a single friend who didn't hook up with someone at the last wedding I attended myself included. Over 50 friends crowded into one house for the after-party and as I walked through the halls and rooms the next morning I saw a lot of cuddling.
Guys love to hook up. Girls love to hook up at weddings. Guys hate weddings. What's the problem with this picture? Go to a wedding, boys, and trust me…you're going to find bridesmaids, guests, people that WANT to, are BEGGING to hook up. It's a fact.
WHY OH WHY do weddings make us so horny though? I have no desire to get married anytime soon, so why does the "I dos" make me want to do it. Give me a shout out about why weddings make girls horny? And even better, boys, why do you hate weddings so much when you know they are prime time to get a piece of ass?
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6 comments:
Why do weddings make girls so damn horny? You see, for a girl (especially a single girl) a wedding is the day we dream about and plan for our whole life...
Sorry, have to disagree with you on that one. In my world, my wedding day has NEVER been the thing I plan and dream about my whole life...
Then again, I'm not your typical female either.
And the entire horniness to a wedding ... *chuckles*...I can think of a dozen things that would get me more excited then being committed... ha ha ha
I don't think I'm a typical female either and I haven't ever dreamed of my wedding but yet I get horny anyways. I don't understand it...
I'm so excited about my wedding, even though it's still going to be a while, we recently took the first step. I think that I know how a permanent smile on my face.
I hope that I have a horny wedding night. Ha.
love this! so hilarious! i think it's just knowing about the possibility of hooking up. it's classier than finding someone at a bar...
i think it's just the excitement of knowing that you could meet someone new...and that coupled with the open bar has spawned many friends to call me the morning after!
I thought I was missing an earring...
"it's classier than finding someone at a bar" that's hilarious.
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